Hi everyone,
It's been quite awhile since I have blogged. It's not that I haven't had anything to say (you all know how opinionated I can be). It's just that I haven't had time. Anyway, I wanted to take a minute today and say THANK YOU to everyone who has rallied around me in the worst times, when things seem impossible and the climb before me insurmountable. I want you all to know that I have a plan in place and I am very optimistic that things are going to get better. Stacy is hard at work helping me find a better paying job. That is step #1. I need to work 40 hours a week and actually have some money to show for it after the rent is paid. And I need to get off of night shift. I thought it would be best for the animals but it is not working at all. The dogs do not want to sleep all night while I am at work and then all day while I am home. FAIL. Then, I need to get the fencing up and get the animals better under control. The dogs need to be able to "let themselves out" and the cats need to be better contained for their safety. Then, I can begin to work on having some sort of "normalcy" in my life where perhaps I could even get some furniture and...oh yeah...electricity. Anyway, at some point I hope to enter into a rent-to-own contract with my landlord and secure the animals once and for all. But, that is all in good time. I am learning patience and, believe me, it is not easy. My entire plan could take years.
Anyway, last night, with having to miss work again and Mom needing care 24/7, I had a bit of a meltdown. As always, a lot of you were there to pick me up and remind me that I am not alone. But I noticed something about myself in this process. When you offered help, I IMMEDIATELY became uncomfortable. "No , no , no," I thought, "I don't want to inconvenience anyone." So I wanted, today, to take a minute to give you an explanation as to why sometimes I may inadvertently make it difficult for you to help with the animals and to let you know that, no matter how much I resist, I truly AM grateful to my core that you are there to help.
In 2004, when I began rescuing animals, I did so under the umbrella of the Columbia County Humane Society and in response to a petition before the Wisconsin DNR to allow the shooting of feral cats. Within a few months, it became painfully clear that the humane society was already spread too thin and I was very much alone in my crusade to rescue feral cats. Don't get me wrong, they are good people who do a lot of wonderful things for animals, but feral cats do not fit the typical image of what a humane society is all about. They depend on their animals to be adoptable. It's their main source of income that allows them to survive another day to rescue another homeless pet. That's just the way it works. So, I went out on my own. In doing so, I suffered the loss of many of my family members who have chosen, in some cases, not to be impartial (to be proud of me is WAY too much to even dream of) but to be downright vicious. Since that fateful day in 2005 when my sister went off the deep end over 4 little kittens, I have agonized over one question: "Why?" Every question I have begins with that word. And I have learned, however painfully, that I will never get answers. The one person who never sat in judgement of me (my oldest brother, Roy), passed away on October 31, 2010. Perhaps his insight...his calm and impartial ways...would have helped me to understand someday. But I will never know.
In the course of rescuing these animals, together, we have suffered many losses, endured many hardships and accomplished the impossible. I have dug in my heels, gritted my teeth and fought with every fiber of my being. And in doing so, I came to believe that there is one person I can count on...one person these animals can count on....and that is me. But I am now beginning to understand that I am wrong. I DO have family and it is all of you. I DO have people I can count on and it is all of you. I don't know if I will ever learn to accept gifts and donations gracefully. I don't know if my "I can do this...I don't need anyone" mindframe will ever change. So, please, if I seem to be making it difficult for you and you just want to help, be persistent. Know that I love you and I appreciate you and the animals and I are better for knowing you. God bless you my friends.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Forget CNN, I'll Show You a Hero
Every year around Christmastime, I see good ol' Anderson Cooper on CNN talking about the prestigious "Hero of the Year" award. And every year I suffer in silence as my mother watches the presentation show. It's interesting, yes, but I would just rather be watching Criminal Minds. It's not at all that I think these fine people aren't deserving of awards and recognition. They certainly are and I recognize and appreciate that the world is a better place because of the things they have dedicated their lives to. I thank them profusely for making the earth better for all of mankind. And I appreciate the fact that they make me think. Heroes come in all shapes and sizes, ages and backgrounds, ethnicities and cultures. I struggle a little with people referring to sports figures and actors as heroes. Are they? They do (I am generalizing) have talent, and the ability to influence people...especially young people. Role models, perhaps...but heroes? Not in my book.
You see, I have been fortunate in my life to come to know people that I regard as true heroes. They are the ones who sacrifice of themselves without blinking. They are the ones who say, "Yes, I can do that..." regardless of what it will take to get it done. They are the ones who walk in when everyone else walks out. They are the ones who stand tall in the face of adversity, dig in their heels and say, "I will not lose this battle. I WILL prevail." They are the Cassie Richardsons of the world who, in the face of great personal loss, get back on their feet and say, "I am here to make a difference." They are the Stacy Van Wormers of the world who see suffering and, even though they didn't cause it, say, "Come here, little one, I will help you." They are the Rebecca Kruegers of the world who work hard every day and still say, "Stand with me! This fight is not over and, together, we can handle this!" They are the Lisa Drurys of the world who, under the weight of tremendous personal struggle, say, "It's ok...I'm here for you no matter what." And they are the Barb Ulrichs of the world who look into the eyes of a homeless cat, see an old friend and say, "There you are. I've missed you. Come home."
These are true heroes and I am blessed in my life to know them. Cassie, Stacy, Becko, Lisa, Barb...thank you for being MY heroes.
You see, I have been fortunate in my life to come to know people that I regard as true heroes. They are the ones who sacrifice of themselves without blinking. They are the ones who say, "Yes, I can do that..." regardless of what it will take to get it done. They are the ones who walk in when everyone else walks out. They are the ones who stand tall in the face of adversity, dig in their heels and say, "I will not lose this battle. I WILL prevail." They are the Cassie Richardsons of the world who, in the face of great personal loss, get back on their feet and say, "I am here to make a difference." They are the Stacy Van Wormers of the world who see suffering and, even though they didn't cause it, say, "Come here, little one, I will help you." They are the Rebecca Kruegers of the world who work hard every day and still say, "Stand with me! This fight is not over and, together, we can handle this!" They are the Lisa Drurys of the world who, under the weight of tremendous personal struggle, say, "It's ok...I'm here for you no matter what." And they are the Barb Ulrichs of the world who look into the eyes of a homeless cat, see an old friend and say, "There you are. I've missed you. Come home."
These are true heroes and I am blessed in my life to know them. Cassie, Stacy, Becko, Lisa, Barb...thank you for being MY heroes.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
My Letter to 2012
Dear 2012,
Well, you arrived last night with all of the usual fanfare and hoopla. Welcome. Last year, I wrote a letter to 2011, letting it know of my expectations and demands for the new year. Yes, I was a bit harsh. But 2010 left much to be desired and I was not going to stand for any repeats of that nonsense. In revisiting that letter, I must say, most of my demands were met and I am a bit sad to see 2011 go. So, 2012, you have a big job ahead of you. Here is what I expect:
In March you will see the conclusion of my court case once and for all. I expect everything to go smoothly. 2011 was kind enough to see to it that the animals and I have a place to live and that none of them had to be euthanized because we were homeless. It was a miracle and one for which I will always be grateful. You, 2012, are responsible for maintaining that miracle. My landlord is facing some issues and I expect them resolved in his favor so that he can maintain ownership of the property. In fact, you could work on convincing him to sell it to me and we would be golden. Let's see some action there.
2011 gave me a job. Although I am grateful, I hate it. So you, 2012, get the responsibility of getting me a better job that pays more. Again, I am grateful for the awesome people that my job has brought into my life, but I could do without the back-stabbers, gossipers and small-minded people who also populate the place. Let's see some action there too. I will do my part (applications, resumes, interviews, etc.) You just connect me to the right people.
Last year about this time, I talked to 2011 about health. My health has been good and, for that, I am grateful. (I could use a little help with the knees.) But let's talk about Lisa. The kidney thing is all good. 2011 was good to her in that regard. But HELLO...the feet? AHEM! That is NOT what I had in mind when I demanded that 2011 be kind to Lisa and her health. So, 2012...seriously...get it corrected. HEALTH means GOOD HEALTH, not just a pulse. So fix it. I want her healthy, feeling good, and able to enjoy each and every day watching Joshua grow up. Enough with the doctors and the medications and all of that crap. I want her healthy this year and every year thereafter. Get it done.
And speaking of health, 2012, I have two names for you...Heather and Helen. Fix it. Get definitive diagnoses and appropriate treatments and make it better. There is no room for excuses. I expect it done. Thank you.
Now let's talk about Barb. You will not find a person with a bigger heart. 2011 was challenging and very difficult. Some things have been resolved and she has some peace of mind. 2012, I would appreciate your continued support in smoothing things out for her. I want you to give her PEACE in her heart, mind and soul. No emergencies, no unexpected expenses, no hardships. SMOOTH SAILING IS THE ONLY ANSWER. Get it done.
Speaking of smooth sailing...I am just going to throw 4 names at you...Mike, Stacy, Amy and Rick. They all faced huge adversities this year and I want that crap to stop. Give them what they need to be ok and to continue to work hard to achieve their goals. They are good people and it is time to reward them, not continue to crap on them. SMOOTH SAILING! (And it would be really nice if you would bestow some hardships on Mike & Stacy's idiot neighbors, rewarding them for their cruelty to animals. I am told that karma is a bitch. Let's see it, ok? Thanks!)
And let's talk about Becko. No one works harder to help other people and animals than Becko does. I expect you to continue to give her heart the capacity it needs to do that. That means withholding any hardships and not allowing anything bad to happen that may leave her feeling defeated or frustrated. Be as kind to her as she is to others. It's a pretty simple equation.
Now...my mom... She will be 77 this year. She has a lot of issues and we are dealing with them. 2011 was a lot kinder to her than 2010 and, again, I am grateful. Please stop with the pain and the struggles. Give her the emotional and physical support that she needs to feel better every day. I am working full time now so I can't be with her as much as she needs. It would be nice if you would kindly get a message (a revelation really) to my siblings and get them to contribute to making her life better. Thank you.
In reagard to Jaime, Roy Michael, Kathy and Mom...2010 was a bitch and I am not happy at all about it. We were all affected by Roy's death on October 31, 2010, but no one moreso than these 4 people. 2011 had the responsibility of being the first year without him. It was the most difficult, I am told. Get easier. I'm not kidding.
And for the rest of my friends and loved ones, I also expect smooth sailing. Nikayla is graduating this year and I would appreciate you withholding any hardships that she may face while job hunting. Don't mess with my Tayda or you and I will rumble. Don't test me. You will regret it.
Now let's talk about the animals. My Alecs is turning 15 in February. He's an old guy and I am grateful that 2011 was so kind to him. You need to continue that trend. Again, I will do my part and provide him with everything he needs to stay healthy and happy. You just have to make sure it works. I cannot and will not imagine my life without him so don't even go there. My world revolves around Alecs and it needs to stay that way in order for me to maintain sanity. This is non-negotiable.
Sarge is turning 11 in October. Keep her healthy. Enough said.
2011 almost took Chance. That kind of bulls**t will NOT be tolerated. Thank God for Dr. Twardowski stepping in and putting 2011 in its place on that one. 2012, you will NOT mess with Chance. It is just not acceptable. He is off limits to you.
The dogs...
Tucker is turning 10 this year. 2011 was not his best year and I am a bit upset about that. He has arthritis in his elbow. He needs his ears resected and now he quite possibly has Von Willebrand Disease. I cannot and WILL NOT lose my big yellow boy so knock it off with the health problems. I want you to come up with an awesome fundraising idea and kindly place it in my head so that Tucker can have the care he needs to stick around for a long time to come. The elbow is most concerning because he can't play like he wants to and there will come a time when he cannot walk without tremendous pain. I will have to make an impossible decision for him and I am not ready for that. Am I being selfish? Oh hell yes I am but I am being selfish on Tucker's behalf. I want a fundraiser so he can have elbow replacement surgery and I don't want the Von Willebrand Disease complicating the surgery. Got it? Good.
Gretchen, Charlie and Barney are all getting up in their years and are turning white around their faces. Their health is good and I would appreciate it staying that way. Don't mess with them or you will mess with me.
Wrigley, Harry & Dawson are turning 5 in May. Harry & Dawson are having orthopedic issues related to their sizes and breeds. I don't want them in pain so knock that off. They are still young pups and I expect you to allow them to act that way. Again, I will do my part with vet appointments, medications and the like. You need to do yours. Wrigley is strong, healthy, smart and beautiful. Keep it that way.
As for the rest of the animals, canine and feline alike, I expect health and happiness. For the cats who are rescued, I expect loving and forever homes. Find them and help them find me.
Now, personally, I expect the strength and stamina that I need to continue to help animals. There are days that it is difficult and there are days that it is impossible. I can handle the difficult ones and I would appreciate an end to the impossible ones. I am not effective when I am in a fetal position in the corner. Clearly, I need to be effective. So...you get the idea. Smooth sailing is the idea but I will settle for just difficult.
I guess that is it for now. The rest goes without saying. Just keep your nose clean and remember that good things are supposed to happen to good people who work hard. I am willing to handle the tough days but you WILL NOT be allowed to make those tough days impossible. If that is your plan, you might as well go back where you came from right now. If you plan to abide by the rules and meet my demands, I welcome you with open arms. Let's work together and continue to improve things. Thank you.
Well, you arrived last night with all of the usual fanfare and hoopla. Welcome. Last year, I wrote a letter to 2011, letting it know of my expectations and demands for the new year. Yes, I was a bit harsh. But 2010 left much to be desired and I was not going to stand for any repeats of that nonsense. In revisiting that letter, I must say, most of my demands were met and I am a bit sad to see 2011 go. So, 2012, you have a big job ahead of you. Here is what I expect:
In March you will see the conclusion of my court case once and for all. I expect everything to go smoothly. 2011 was kind enough to see to it that the animals and I have a place to live and that none of them had to be euthanized because we were homeless. It was a miracle and one for which I will always be grateful. You, 2012, are responsible for maintaining that miracle. My landlord is facing some issues and I expect them resolved in his favor so that he can maintain ownership of the property. In fact, you could work on convincing him to sell it to me and we would be golden. Let's see some action there.
2011 gave me a job. Although I am grateful, I hate it. So you, 2012, get the responsibility of getting me a better job that pays more. Again, I am grateful for the awesome people that my job has brought into my life, but I could do without the back-stabbers, gossipers and small-minded people who also populate the place. Let's see some action there too. I will do my part (applications, resumes, interviews, etc.) You just connect me to the right people.
Last year about this time, I talked to 2011 about health. My health has been good and, for that, I am grateful. (I could use a little help with the knees.) But let's talk about Lisa. The kidney thing is all good. 2011 was good to her in that regard. But HELLO...the feet? AHEM! That is NOT what I had in mind when I demanded that 2011 be kind to Lisa and her health. So, 2012...seriously...get it corrected. HEALTH means GOOD HEALTH, not just a pulse. So fix it. I want her healthy, feeling good, and able to enjoy each and every day watching Joshua grow up. Enough with the doctors and the medications and all of that crap. I want her healthy this year and every year thereafter. Get it done.
And speaking of health, 2012, I have two names for you...Heather and Helen. Fix it. Get definitive diagnoses and appropriate treatments and make it better. There is no room for excuses. I expect it done. Thank you.
Now let's talk about Barb. You will not find a person with a bigger heart. 2011 was challenging and very difficult. Some things have been resolved and she has some peace of mind. 2012, I would appreciate your continued support in smoothing things out for her. I want you to give her PEACE in her heart, mind and soul. No emergencies, no unexpected expenses, no hardships. SMOOTH SAILING IS THE ONLY ANSWER. Get it done.
Speaking of smooth sailing...I am just going to throw 4 names at you...Mike, Stacy, Amy and Rick. They all faced huge adversities this year and I want that crap to stop. Give them what they need to be ok and to continue to work hard to achieve their goals. They are good people and it is time to reward them, not continue to crap on them. SMOOTH SAILING! (And it would be really nice if you would bestow some hardships on Mike & Stacy's idiot neighbors, rewarding them for their cruelty to animals. I am told that karma is a bitch. Let's see it, ok? Thanks!)
And let's talk about Becko. No one works harder to help other people and animals than Becko does. I expect you to continue to give her heart the capacity it needs to do that. That means withholding any hardships and not allowing anything bad to happen that may leave her feeling defeated or frustrated. Be as kind to her as she is to others. It's a pretty simple equation.
Now...my mom... She will be 77 this year. She has a lot of issues and we are dealing with them. 2011 was a lot kinder to her than 2010 and, again, I am grateful. Please stop with the pain and the struggles. Give her the emotional and physical support that she needs to feel better every day. I am working full time now so I can't be with her as much as she needs. It would be nice if you would kindly get a message (a revelation really) to my siblings and get them to contribute to making her life better. Thank you.
In reagard to Jaime, Roy Michael, Kathy and Mom...2010 was a bitch and I am not happy at all about it. We were all affected by Roy's death on October 31, 2010, but no one moreso than these 4 people. 2011 had the responsibility of being the first year without him. It was the most difficult, I am told. Get easier. I'm not kidding.
And for the rest of my friends and loved ones, I also expect smooth sailing. Nikayla is graduating this year and I would appreciate you withholding any hardships that she may face while job hunting. Don't mess with my Tayda or you and I will rumble. Don't test me. You will regret it.
Now let's talk about the animals. My Alecs is turning 15 in February. He's an old guy and I am grateful that 2011 was so kind to him. You need to continue that trend. Again, I will do my part and provide him with everything he needs to stay healthy and happy. You just have to make sure it works. I cannot and will not imagine my life without him so don't even go there. My world revolves around Alecs and it needs to stay that way in order for me to maintain sanity. This is non-negotiable.
Sarge is turning 11 in October. Keep her healthy. Enough said.
2011 almost took Chance. That kind of bulls**t will NOT be tolerated. Thank God for Dr. Twardowski stepping in and putting 2011 in its place on that one. 2012, you will NOT mess with Chance. It is just not acceptable. He is off limits to you.
The dogs...
Tucker is turning 10 this year. 2011 was not his best year and I am a bit upset about that. He has arthritis in his elbow. He needs his ears resected and now he quite possibly has Von Willebrand Disease. I cannot and WILL NOT lose my big yellow boy so knock it off with the health problems. I want you to come up with an awesome fundraising idea and kindly place it in my head so that Tucker can have the care he needs to stick around for a long time to come. The elbow is most concerning because he can't play like he wants to and there will come a time when he cannot walk without tremendous pain. I will have to make an impossible decision for him and I am not ready for that. Am I being selfish? Oh hell yes I am but I am being selfish on Tucker's behalf. I want a fundraiser so he can have elbow replacement surgery and I don't want the Von Willebrand Disease complicating the surgery. Got it? Good.
Gretchen, Charlie and Barney are all getting up in their years and are turning white around their faces. Their health is good and I would appreciate it staying that way. Don't mess with them or you will mess with me.
Wrigley, Harry & Dawson are turning 5 in May. Harry & Dawson are having orthopedic issues related to their sizes and breeds. I don't want them in pain so knock that off. They are still young pups and I expect you to allow them to act that way. Again, I will do my part with vet appointments, medications and the like. You need to do yours. Wrigley is strong, healthy, smart and beautiful. Keep it that way.
As for the rest of the animals, canine and feline alike, I expect health and happiness. For the cats who are rescued, I expect loving and forever homes. Find them and help them find me.
Now, personally, I expect the strength and stamina that I need to continue to help animals. There are days that it is difficult and there are days that it is impossible. I can handle the difficult ones and I would appreciate an end to the impossible ones. I am not effective when I am in a fetal position in the corner. Clearly, I need to be effective. So...you get the idea. Smooth sailing is the idea but I will settle for just difficult.
I guess that is it for now. The rest goes without saying. Just keep your nose clean and remember that good things are supposed to happen to good people who work hard. I am willing to handle the tough days but you WILL NOT be allowed to make those tough days impossible. If that is your plan, you might as well go back where you came from right now. If you plan to abide by the rules and meet my demands, I welcome you with open arms. Let's work together and continue to improve things. Thank you.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Christmas Wishes
'Tis the season...to be jolly...to be giving...to be thankful. I am, in general, all three of those things. (At least I try to be.) And, as a general rule, I like this time of year. But I keep thinking about how this is the time, not only for joy, but for wishes. I am surrounded by people with their Christmas lists and holiday wishes. Now, I live a pretty simple life. If the cats and dogs have food in their bowls, their heaters are working and there is gas in my car to get me to work, I am feeling pretty good about things. Nevermind the special occasions when I get to buy the dogs some treats or get Alecs a new bed. Those are the really good days. But I got to thinking about what I would wish for, given the chance. Here is my list...
For Tucker, I wish that he could have the surgeries that he needs to improve his quality of life as he enters his golden years. He needs his right front elbow replaced and both of his ears flushed and resected so he can stop getting ear infections. He also needs the polyps removed by his eyes. I wish him an endless supply of tennis balls and the ability to chase them like he used to. I wish him a return of all of the love he shows in those big brown eyes of his. Mama loves you Tucka-Bubba.
For Charlie, I wish she could have the allergy testing she needs to get to the bottom of her itching problems. And I wish her an unending supply of squeaky toys and treats she can bury and save for later. I wish her all of the kindness and sweetness that she shows me and everyone around her every day of her life. I wish her the knowledge that she is my heart and soul on 4 legs and that I love her with all of my heart. Mama loves you Charlie Doggie.
For Barney, I also wish he could have allergy testing and resolution to his itching problem. I also wish for him an understanding of love and the knowledge that he IS worthy and I am not going anywhere. I am real, I will never hit him and I will love him for the rest of his life. I wish him freedom from the fears that were instilled in him for the first 9 years of his life. Mama loves you Barn Man.
For Gretchen, I wish freedom from her fears of just about everything and more of my time. Gretchen wants nothing more than to be with me whereever I go and I wish more than anything that I could give that to her. I wish for her to have an unending supply of squeaky toys to keep her busy when I can't be home. Mama loves you Gretchy Dog.
For Wrigley, I wish one of the cats would befriend her and learn that she will not hurt them. Wrigley loved to play with my cat, Brenda...carrying her around by the scruff of her neck, "chewing" on her, playing with her...and Brenda loved it too. We lost Brenda last summer when she was hit by a car and Wrigley hasn't been the same since. And I wish for my baby girl, that she always has the youthful energy and exuberance that she has now. I also wish her an unending supply of tennis balls and more of my time to throw them. Mama loves you Wriggles.
For Harry, I wish freedom from pain in his legs and for me to actually remember that he doesn't like peanut butter in his Kong. I wish him the kind of love in return that he shows me each and every day. I wish him the amazing feeling of devotion, protection and unconditional love that he shows me. And I wish him an unending supply of Rimadyl when he needs it, Glucosamine/Chondroitin for his legs and toys to tear apart.
Mama loves you Harry Man.
For Dawson, I wish peace and the same deep, almost-unfathomable love and devotion that he shows me. I wish him freedom from his joint pain and the ability to run and play forever. I wish him an unending supply of Rimadyl when he needs it and Glucosamine/Chondroitin for his legs. And I wish him all of the Scooby Snacks he could handle. Mama loves you Big D.
For Alecs, my sweet boy...I wish another year of good health and lots of cuddle time with me. I never want to imagine life without Alecs. And I wish him lots and lots of boxes to squeeze himself into. Mama loves you Buppa.
For Sarge, I wish an unending supply of my attention and Pop Tarts every morning. Mama loves you Sargie.
For Joey, I wish a final resolution to that annoying ear infection and lots and lots of scritches. Mama loves you Joseph.
For Maggie, I wish more time to run around outside and be silly. I also wish her less time with the kittens who annoy the heck out of her. Mama loves you Maggs.
For all of the rest of my kids~ I wish you health and happiness, more of my time and more of my patience. I wish you wonderful, comfortable, loving forever homes where you can live your lives in peace, with all of your needs met. Mama loves you all.
For Tucker, I wish that he could have the surgeries that he needs to improve his quality of life as he enters his golden years. He needs his right front elbow replaced and both of his ears flushed and resected so he can stop getting ear infections. He also needs the polyps removed by his eyes. I wish him an endless supply of tennis balls and the ability to chase them like he used to. I wish him a return of all of the love he shows in those big brown eyes of his. Mama loves you Tucka-Bubba.
For Charlie, I wish she could have the allergy testing she needs to get to the bottom of her itching problems. And I wish her an unending supply of squeaky toys and treats she can bury and save for later. I wish her all of the kindness and sweetness that she shows me and everyone around her every day of her life. I wish her the knowledge that she is my heart and soul on 4 legs and that I love her with all of my heart. Mama loves you Charlie Doggie.
For Barney, I also wish he could have allergy testing and resolution to his itching problem. I also wish for him an understanding of love and the knowledge that he IS worthy and I am not going anywhere. I am real, I will never hit him and I will love him for the rest of his life. I wish him freedom from the fears that were instilled in him for the first 9 years of his life. Mama loves you Barn Man.
For Gretchen, I wish freedom from her fears of just about everything and more of my time. Gretchen wants nothing more than to be with me whereever I go and I wish more than anything that I could give that to her. I wish for her to have an unending supply of squeaky toys to keep her busy when I can't be home. Mama loves you Gretchy Dog.
For Wrigley, I wish one of the cats would befriend her and learn that she will not hurt them. Wrigley loved to play with my cat, Brenda...carrying her around by the scruff of her neck, "chewing" on her, playing with her...and Brenda loved it too. We lost Brenda last summer when she was hit by a car and Wrigley hasn't been the same since. And I wish for my baby girl, that she always has the youthful energy and exuberance that she has now. I also wish her an unending supply of tennis balls and more of my time to throw them. Mama loves you Wriggles.
For Harry, I wish freedom from pain in his legs and for me to actually remember that he doesn't like peanut butter in his Kong. I wish him the kind of love in return that he shows me each and every day. I wish him the amazing feeling of devotion, protection and unconditional love that he shows me. And I wish him an unending supply of Rimadyl when he needs it, Glucosamine/Chondroitin for his legs and toys to tear apart.
Mama loves you Harry Man.
For Dawson, I wish peace and the same deep, almost-unfathomable love and devotion that he shows me. I wish him freedom from his joint pain and the ability to run and play forever. I wish him an unending supply of Rimadyl when he needs it and Glucosamine/Chondroitin for his legs. And I wish him all of the Scooby Snacks he could handle. Mama loves you Big D.
For Alecs, my sweet boy...I wish another year of good health and lots of cuddle time with me. I never want to imagine life without Alecs. And I wish him lots and lots of boxes to squeeze himself into. Mama loves you Buppa.
For Sarge, I wish an unending supply of my attention and Pop Tarts every morning. Mama loves you Sargie.
For Joey, I wish a final resolution to that annoying ear infection and lots and lots of scritches. Mama loves you Joseph.
For Maggie, I wish more time to run around outside and be silly. I also wish her less time with the kittens who annoy the heck out of her. Mama loves you Maggs.
For all of the rest of my kids~ I wish you health and happiness, more of my time and more of my patience. I wish you wonderful, comfortable, loving forever homes where you can live your lives in peace, with all of your needs met. Mama loves you all.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
The Truth About Keeping Christ in Christmas
Ok, I am on my soapbox today. The holiday season is here. Last week was Thanksgiving, only one month before Christmas. I am starting to see a lot of postings on Facebook regarding Christmas and "keeping Christ in Christmas." Apparently, President Obama announced that the decorative trees displayed at the White House this year will be referred to as "holiday trees" rather than "Christmas trees." A friend, whom I have a tremendous amount of respect for, posted this on Facebook:
Friday, November 11, 2011
Being a Fighter
Wow, it has been awhile since I have blogged. I guess life just gets too busy sometimes. Anyway...
Let me start with a disclaimer. I am not writing this today in an effort to stroke my own ego. I am not looking for sympathy or hand outs. It is just more of a reflection on the last few days and something I will be able to look back on when things are tough to try to get through those days.
Last week my car died. I don't drive anything fancy...it's a 1999 Ford Taurus station wagon. It's an old-lady car that serves the purpose of hauling animals, including my three big dogs, Wrigley, Harry & Dawson, with plenty of room to lie down. It hauls wood for heat, cat food, dog food, cat litter, furniture and whatever else I ask of it. No matter what shape it is in or how messy the interior is, it is my lifeline and the lifeline of my animals. It is essential to our survival. So, when it isn't running, the feeling of utter despair is overwhelming. But, as luck would have it, it was just the battery. When I was finally able to scrape together the $75 I needed, I bought a new battery and thought everything would be fine. It wasn't.
Fastforward to the first snowfall of the year...November 9, 2011. We didn't get a lot of snow, but it was wet and heavy. I got home from work to find that the cat fence had caved under the weight of the snow. If you know my history, you know that ventilation is an essential (critical) part of housing the cats. Without the fence in good operating condition, I cannot let the cats outside, thus potentially creating a ventilation problem. Again, a feeling of utter despair was overwhelming.
Yesterday, the car would not start again. I was leaving to go get some wood to heat the house. Without wood, there is no heat because I cannot afford the LP gas required to run the furnace (which also means I have no hot water or gas to cook with). It's a game of building a bold enough fire to burn while I am at work so the animals aren't cold. The dachshund wears a sweater and the dogs can burrow under the blankets on my bed. The cats pile on top of each other for warmth until I am home to rebuild the fire. I keep telling myself that they will be ok as long as they are out of the wind. Certainly, they have more than a lot of animals ever know. I have to focus on that.
So, faced with the prospect of having no car, no working cat fence and no wood to heat the house, I was completely defeated. I was giving up. My niece had given me a ride to my mom's so that I could get something to eat. My friend Jeanne gave me a ride home and bought me a box of fire logs to keep everyone warm for the night. Sleep was fitful with the constant worry of the car, the fence, the heat...How will I get to work? How will I get some wood? What if mom needs me? What if one of the animals has an emergency?
Two mechanic friends of mine both said the description of the car's problem sounded like a connection issue with the new battery. So, first thing this morning, I took the battery completely out and set it on the ground. I cleaned the area where the battery sits. Then, I took my toothbrush, dabbed it in baking soda and scrubbed the battery cable connections. I rinsed them and dried them. Then, I did the same to the posts on the battery itself. I put the battery back in, connected the cables and tightened them down. The bolt holding the battery in place is stripped so I found a thick plastic handle to a cat carrier and, with a few taps from the hammer, wedged it between the battery and car frame. The battery was secure. I got in the car, looked up at the sky and said, "Ok, Roy, you are the mechanic in the family. I could really use some magic right now." I turned the key and the car started. The relief was amazing.
Then I put on my rubber boots and ventured into the snow-covered cat enclosure. I assessed the problem of the fence and saw that the poles were caving in the soft ground. There was no actual damage to the fence. What a relief! So I took some steel posts from the not-yet-put-up chainlink dog fence and shored up the cat fence poles. The fence popped right back up into position and I was able to let the cats out into their enclosure again. Again, the relief was amazing.
So why am I blogging about this today? Because I learned something about myself last night. In all the despair, as I was walking through the woods at 1am looking for wood dry enough to burn, a poem from my childhood popped into my head. It's an old one that I think just about everyone has heard, but I hadn't thought about it in nearly 20 years. And suddenly, there it was when I needed it the most.
When things go wrong as they sometimes will
And the road you're trudging seems all uphill
When funds are low and debts are high
And you want to smile but you have to sigh
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Success if failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are
It may be near when it seems afar
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit
It's when things go wrong that you must'nt quit.
I kept reciting this poem aloud as I trudged through the snow. The more I said the last two lines, the more determined I became.
I am a lot of things. I am a woman, a friend, a daughter, an aunt, a sister, a cousin, an employee, a caretaker, an animal-lover...the list goes on and on, as it does for everyone else in the world. But I am also a fighter. I am a never-give-up, dig-in-my-heels, grab-on-with-my-teeth-and-never-let-go, push-through-anything, fighter. In the immortal words of Pat Benetar, "Knock me down, it's all in vain. I'll get right back on my feet again. Hit me with your best shot." I WILL bounce back. I WILL survive. I WILL find a way. There are days that I feel like my fight is gone...like the world is just too cruel...like I can't possibly find my way again. But I ALWAYS find my fight. And I ALWAYS will. I am so blessed to have friends and family who see me through those tough days and help me find that fight again. At my worst moments, when I thought I was going to lose all of the animals because I had no place to live and no job, I told my friend Becky that I had no fight left. She said, "You will find it. This is NOT over." And she was right. Three months later, I have a home and a job. It's not over until I say it's over and I am not saying that....ever. Now if you will excuse me, I need to go buy a new toothbrush. ;-)
Let me start with a disclaimer. I am not writing this today in an effort to stroke my own ego. I am not looking for sympathy or hand outs. It is just more of a reflection on the last few days and something I will be able to look back on when things are tough to try to get through those days.
Last week my car died. I don't drive anything fancy...it's a 1999 Ford Taurus station wagon. It's an old-lady car that serves the purpose of hauling animals, including my three big dogs, Wrigley, Harry & Dawson, with plenty of room to lie down. It hauls wood for heat, cat food, dog food, cat litter, furniture and whatever else I ask of it. No matter what shape it is in or how messy the interior is, it is my lifeline and the lifeline of my animals. It is essential to our survival. So, when it isn't running, the feeling of utter despair is overwhelming. But, as luck would have it, it was just the battery. When I was finally able to scrape together the $75 I needed, I bought a new battery and thought everything would be fine. It wasn't.
Fastforward to the first snowfall of the year...November 9, 2011. We didn't get a lot of snow, but it was wet and heavy. I got home from work to find that the cat fence had caved under the weight of the snow. If you know my history, you know that ventilation is an essential (critical) part of housing the cats. Without the fence in good operating condition, I cannot let the cats outside, thus potentially creating a ventilation problem. Again, a feeling of utter despair was overwhelming.
Yesterday, the car would not start again. I was leaving to go get some wood to heat the house. Without wood, there is no heat because I cannot afford the LP gas required to run the furnace (which also means I have no hot water or gas to cook with). It's a game of building a bold enough fire to burn while I am at work so the animals aren't cold. The dachshund wears a sweater and the dogs can burrow under the blankets on my bed. The cats pile on top of each other for warmth until I am home to rebuild the fire. I keep telling myself that they will be ok as long as they are out of the wind. Certainly, they have more than a lot of animals ever know. I have to focus on that.
So, faced with the prospect of having no car, no working cat fence and no wood to heat the house, I was completely defeated. I was giving up. My niece had given me a ride to my mom's so that I could get something to eat. My friend Jeanne gave me a ride home and bought me a box of fire logs to keep everyone warm for the night. Sleep was fitful with the constant worry of the car, the fence, the heat...How will I get to work? How will I get some wood? What if mom needs me? What if one of the animals has an emergency?
Two mechanic friends of mine both said the description of the car's problem sounded like a connection issue with the new battery. So, first thing this morning, I took the battery completely out and set it on the ground. I cleaned the area where the battery sits. Then, I took my toothbrush, dabbed it in baking soda and scrubbed the battery cable connections. I rinsed them and dried them. Then, I did the same to the posts on the battery itself. I put the battery back in, connected the cables and tightened them down. The bolt holding the battery in place is stripped so I found a thick plastic handle to a cat carrier and, with a few taps from the hammer, wedged it between the battery and car frame. The battery was secure. I got in the car, looked up at the sky and said, "Ok, Roy, you are the mechanic in the family. I could really use some magic right now." I turned the key and the car started. The relief was amazing.
Then I put on my rubber boots and ventured into the snow-covered cat enclosure. I assessed the problem of the fence and saw that the poles were caving in the soft ground. There was no actual damage to the fence. What a relief! So I took some steel posts from the not-yet-put-up chainlink dog fence and shored up the cat fence poles. The fence popped right back up into position and I was able to let the cats out into their enclosure again. Again, the relief was amazing.
So why am I blogging about this today? Because I learned something about myself last night. In all the despair, as I was walking through the woods at 1am looking for wood dry enough to burn, a poem from my childhood popped into my head. It's an old one that I think just about everyone has heard, but I hadn't thought about it in nearly 20 years. And suddenly, there it was when I needed it the most.
When things go wrong as they sometimes will
And the road you're trudging seems all uphill
When funds are low and debts are high
And you want to smile but you have to sigh
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Success if failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are
It may be near when it seems afar
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit
It's when things go wrong that you must'nt quit.
I kept reciting this poem aloud as I trudged through the snow. The more I said the last two lines, the more determined I became.
I am a lot of things. I am a woman, a friend, a daughter, an aunt, a sister, a cousin, an employee, a caretaker, an animal-lover...the list goes on and on, as it does for everyone else in the world. But I am also a fighter. I am a never-give-up, dig-in-my-heels, grab-on-with-my-teeth-and-never-let-go, push-through-anything, fighter. In the immortal words of Pat Benetar, "Knock me down, it's all in vain. I'll get right back on my feet again. Hit me with your best shot." I WILL bounce back. I WILL survive. I WILL find a way. There are days that I feel like my fight is gone...like the world is just too cruel...like I can't possibly find my way again. But I ALWAYS find my fight. And I ALWAYS will. I am so blessed to have friends and family who see me through those tough days and help me find that fight again. At my worst moments, when I thought I was going to lose all of the animals because I had no place to live and no job, I told my friend Becky that I had no fight left. She said, "You will find it. This is NOT over." And she was right. Three months later, I have a home and a job. It's not over until I say it's over and I am not saying that....ever. Now if you will excuse me, I need to go buy a new toothbrush. ;-)
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Punish Those Responsible for Animal Cruelty, Not Those Trying to Help
Imagine this scenario. You buy a house in a nice neighborhood where you can raise your family in safety and comfort. It’s peaceful and serene. You bring with you your neutered cat and spayed dog, both of whom you keep indoors so as not to bother anyone. Your neighbor, however, doesn’t see things quite the way you do. They have a female cat that roams the neighborhood unspayed, delivering litter after litter of kittens year after year. And when the population gets to be too much, your neighbor blocks the entrance to the house, leaving the cats outside in the cold to fend for themselves. If they live, they live. If they die, they die. It’s all part of natural selection, right? Except that, in the course of their lives, no matter how short they may be, they too are producing litter after litter of kittens. Of course, these desperate animals find their way to you and you cannot bear to see them suffer. So you give them some table scraps to start, eventually doing what is humane and setting out a bowl of food every night, perhaps even building them a small shelter so that they can be somewhat protected from the cold and rain. And one by one, as your economic situation allows, you get them spayed and neutered in an effort to try to stop the booming population. You get them vaccinated so that they may stay somewhat healthy and not spread sickness and disease among the colony. You single-handedly take on the enormous responsibility of caring for these poor animals, not because they are your pets, but because they need help and your conscience will not let you sleep at night while they sit out in the cold, hungry and suffering. You know you didn’t cause the problem. Your animals were spayed and neutered, not reproducing unchecked. Your animals were fed and cared for, not left to starve and freeze. But you know that these animals depend on someone, anyone, to have the compassion to set out a bowl of food or leave the garage door open a little so that they can seek shelter. You know you are doing the right thing and you believe, foolishly, that the people of your neighborhood who proclaim to be your friends, see things the same way. You are wrong. Caring for these cats makes them yours in the eyes of your neighbors and having these cats now makes you a hoarder and an outcast in your neighborhood. It makes you subject to harassment and sleepless night after sleepless night because these same neighbors have now set traps to capture the cats and murder them. They even go so far as to tell you that the cats are “fair game” because you have failed to control their travels. You have failed to teach the cats to read maps and respect property lines. You have failed to teach these cats to clean up after themselves when they urinate and defacate and to never do that in anyone’s garden but yours. You have failed to teach these cats to ignore their very basic hunting instincts because there are people in this world who attach more importance to the life of a songbird than the life of a cat. Shame on you. When the harassment gets to be too much and you no longer feel safe in your serene and peaceful neighborhood, you call the police. After all, they are there to serve and protect. And when the Columbia County Sheriff’s Department shows up at your door you are shocked to find that he isn’t there to protect you at all. He doesn’t hand you any kind of gratitude that you are doing a service to the community by caring for these stray animals. He doesn’t hand you any kind of reassurance that he will handle the problem and that the people who created the problem will be held accountable. What he hands you is a $228 ordinance violation ticket for animal-at-large and a 15 minute lecture on why your neighbors are upset and why you should keep your animals under control. What he hands you is more frustration, more injustice and more tears. What he hands you is unfathomable, unfair and unbelievable. All the while, the neighbors who created the problem by not taking responsibility for their one female cat so long ago, watch out the window, gossiping on the phone to the fellow neighbors about how the police were at your house and what a terrible person you are.
Do you think this doesn’t happen? It’s happening on Spring Street in Pardeeville as we speak. It happened to me and it happened to many of my friends. It’s happening every day in countless neighborhoods. And how do you avoid it? I suppose you avoid it by ignoring the plight of the suffering animals like everyone else in the neighborhood and leave them to die slow and painful deaths. But wait, isn’t that cruelty to animals? Doesn’t that violate the law? No, it doesn’t because by ignoring the cats, you are not claiming ownership of them. By not claiming ownership, you are not responsible for their well-being. If you are not responsible, you cannot be held criminally liable when they starve to death. Isn’t that nice? The anti-cruelty laws in Wisconsin (and throughout the country) are encouraging people to ignore the suffering of the animals and allow it to happen. If you get involved and try to help the helpless, you will be held responsible. You will be harassed. You will be fined. You will be the target of gossip. And the people who actually caused the problem will sit quietly, never speaking up, never taking responsibility for their stupidity and living happily ever after. Law enforcement, especially, it seems, in Columbia County, targets those who are trying to solve the problem of stray and feral cats while ignoring those who caused it. It isn't right. It isn't fair and it cannot be left this way. We must, as a society, take action to protect, not only the animals, but those who care for them. We need to thank, not crucify, those who are stepping up to take on the responsibilities that others ignore, to clean up the messes made by others simply because it is the right thing to do.
To everyone out there who is in this situation, please accept my unending gratitude on behalf of the animals that you are helping. I'm sorry our laws are against you when you are doing what is right. I'm sorry that our law enforcement agencies are so short-sighted that you are treated as the enemy when you should be hailed as the hero. Please know that some of us do see the forest for the trees. Some of us do have a grasp of reality and understand the true situation. Some of us are sleeping just a little easier tonight knowing that you are making sure these animals have food and shelter and someone who cares about them. And some of us will not rest until these injustices are corrected and those who are responsible are held accountable, not only in the eyes of the law but also in the eyes of the public. May God bless you. There is a special place in Heaven reserved for people like you. Please keep up the good work.
Do you think this doesn’t happen? It’s happening on Spring Street in Pardeeville as we speak. It happened to me and it happened to many of my friends. It’s happening every day in countless neighborhoods. And how do you avoid it? I suppose you avoid it by ignoring the plight of the suffering animals like everyone else in the neighborhood and leave them to die slow and painful deaths. But wait, isn’t that cruelty to animals? Doesn’t that violate the law? No, it doesn’t because by ignoring the cats, you are not claiming ownership of them. By not claiming ownership, you are not responsible for their well-being. If you are not responsible, you cannot be held criminally liable when they starve to death. Isn’t that nice? The anti-cruelty laws in Wisconsin (and throughout the country) are encouraging people to ignore the suffering of the animals and allow it to happen. If you get involved and try to help the helpless, you will be held responsible. You will be harassed. You will be fined. You will be the target of gossip. And the people who actually caused the problem will sit quietly, never speaking up, never taking responsibility for their stupidity and living happily ever after. Law enforcement, especially, it seems, in Columbia County, targets those who are trying to solve the problem of stray and feral cats while ignoring those who caused it. It isn't right. It isn't fair and it cannot be left this way. We must, as a society, take action to protect, not only the animals, but those who care for them. We need to thank, not crucify, those who are stepping up to take on the responsibilities that others ignore, to clean up the messes made by others simply because it is the right thing to do.
To everyone out there who is in this situation, please accept my unending gratitude on behalf of the animals that you are helping. I'm sorry our laws are against you when you are doing what is right. I'm sorry that our law enforcement agencies are so short-sighted that you are treated as the enemy when you should be hailed as the hero. Please know that some of us do see the forest for the trees. Some of us do have a grasp of reality and understand the true situation. Some of us are sleeping just a little easier tonight knowing that you are making sure these animals have food and shelter and someone who cares about them. And some of us will not rest until these injustices are corrected and those who are responsible are held accountable, not only in the eyes of the law but also in the eyes of the public. May God bless you. There is a special place in Heaven reserved for people like you. Please keep up the good work.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Why Casey Anthony is Guilty and Should Be Executed
Ok, so I am on my soapbox today. You see, for the second time in my life, I have witnessed a national event...a "trial of the century", only to have it end in an epic travesty of justice. The first, of course, was the acquittal of OJ Simpson in the murder of Nicole Brown-Simpson and Ronald Goldman. It's too bad that OJ went to jail on other charges a year or so ago. I hear he was close to finding the "real killer" under a car in the parking lot (eye roll).
So yesterday, Casey Anthony was acquitted in the murder of her 3 year old daughter, Caylee Marie Anthony. Part of me is shocked and part of me is, sadly, not surprised at all. I think the ball was dropped by 2 major players in this little game of justice. First, the Orange County Sheriff's Department dropped the ball by failing to investigate the first phone call from Roy Kronk, the utility worker who found Caylee's remains. If they had gone THEN, there would have been much more of Caylee available for examination. This is crucial because it would have proven what the murder weapon was...chloroform. Instead, with nothing left by "dry bones" as they put it, the only tangible item that could be construed to be the murder weapon was the duct tape. That is where the prosecution dropped the ball.
You may agree or disagree with me, but here is my theory on what happened to Caylee Marie Anthony...
Casey Anthony was so wrapped up in her boyfriend Tony that she lost all ability to reason and use common sense. She couldn't leave Caylee with her mother because she knew Cindy would not tolerate her abandoning her daughter for a man. So, she and Tony devised a means of making Caylee sleep so they could party. First they tried Xanax, a powerful adult sleep-aid and anti-anxiety medication. They joked about giving Caylee Xanax, calling it her "nanny" or her babysitter, hence the creation of Zanny the Nanny. Zanny was never a person, but rather the drug that babysat Caylee so that they could party. At some point, the Xanax began to be ineffective. Even a 3 year old will build up a tolerance to medications. Perhaps there was a night when little Caylee, having been given Xanax, just would not go to sleep fast enough. So Casey becgan to think. How do they do it in the movies? What do they use to make people pass out? Chloroform! Just put some on a cloth and hold it over Caylee's mouth and voila! She's alseep!
Well, obviously, you can't just go out and buy chloroform. So Casey googled it on the home computer while her mother was at work. She bought what she needed and made her own chloroform to use on Caylee. Then the question arose as to WHERE to put the unconscious Caylee. They couldn't leave her in the apartment. What if she woke up and called 911? What if she wondered off? Someone would find her and the jig would be up. They couldn't put her in her car seat and then park the car at the bar. People would surely see Caylee and call the authorities. So, Casey the brainiac put Caylee in the trunk of the car, probably thinking that she would come out between drinks and dances and check on her. When she did, Caylee was dead. Was it a chloroform overdose? Perhaps. Was it heat? Perhaps. It would have been mid-June in Florida after all. Or was it the lack of oxygen in the trunk. Maybe without the chloroform, a normal person could breathe in a trunk. But the respiratory depression caused by the chloroform was too much for the oxygen-deprived environment.
Casey found Caylee dead in the trunk and didn't know what to do. She left her in the trunk for a few days while she tried to figure it out. Finally, after a few days, she decided to bury Caylee in her parents' backyard. You see, Cindy and George thought Casey and Caylee were at a conference and going to amusement parks. So Casey waited until her parents were not home. She went to their house, took Caylee out of the trunk and laid her in the back yard near her playhouse. This is why the cadaver dogs alerted to the back yard of the Anthony home. Casey thought, since her dad had already freaked out about the gas can, that she had better not use his shovel to dig the hole. He would surely notice something. So, despite there being 3 shovels in the Anthony's shed, Casey borrowed a shovel from the neighbor. At some point she either decided it was too much work or perhaps too time consuming and she became fearful that her parents would come home while she was burying Caylee. So she decided on another plan. In the meantime, she saw something very disturbing. Flies had infested Caylee's little body and were crawling in and out of her nose and mouth. So, Casey went to her father's garage and got duct tape to cover Caylee's mouth and nose to stop the flies. Some small part of her felt remorseful so she got one of Caylee's little heart stickers and placed it over the duct tape that covered Caylee's face. While she was in the garage, Casey also got the bags to wrap Caylee in. She bundled up her little girl and put her back in the trunk. She drive her down the road about 5 blocks and tossed her into the swamp. Then, she returned to her boyfriend and continued her carefree party life.
Sick? Yes. Criminal? Yes. Horrible? Yes. Unpunished? Unfortunately, yes. The criminal justice system has failed Caylee Marie Anthony. It is all we can hope for that this little girl is somehow at peace, despite the travesties that have taken place. There has been no justice for Caylee.
So yesterday, Casey Anthony was acquitted in the murder of her 3 year old daughter, Caylee Marie Anthony. Part of me is shocked and part of me is, sadly, not surprised at all. I think the ball was dropped by 2 major players in this little game of justice. First, the Orange County Sheriff's Department dropped the ball by failing to investigate the first phone call from Roy Kronk, the utility worker who found Caylee's remains. If they had gone THEN, there would have been much more of Caylee available for examination. This is crucial because it would have proven what the murder weapon was...chloroform. Instead, with nothing left by "dry bones" as they put it, the only tangible item that could be construed to be the murder weapon was the duct tape. That is where the prosecution dropped the ball.
You may agree or disagree with me, but here is my theory on what happened to Caylee Marie Anthony...
Casey Anthony was so wrapped up in her boyfriend Tony that she lost all ability to reason and use common sense. She couldn't leave Caylee with her mother because she knew Cindy would not tolerate her abandoning her daughter for a man. So, she and Tony devised a means of making Caylee sleep so they could party. First they tried Xanax, a powerful adult sleep-aid and anti-anxiety medication. They joked about giving Caylee Xanax, calling it her "nanny" or her babysitter, hence the creation of Zanny the Nanny. Zanny was never a person, but rather the drug that babysat Caylee so that they could party. At some point, the Xanax began to be ineffective. Even a 3 year old will build up a tolerance to medications. Perhaps there was a night when little Caylee, having been given Xanax, just would not go to sleep fast enough. So Casey becgan to think. How do they do it in the movies? What do they use to make people pass out? Chloroform! Just put some on a cloth and hold it over Caylee's mouth and voila! She's alseep!
Well, obviously, you can't just go out and buy chloroform. So Casey googled it on the home computer while her mother was at work. She bought what she needed and made her own chloroform to use on Caylee. Then the question arose as to WHERE to put the unconscious Caylee. They couldn't leave her in the apartment. What if she woke up and called 911? What if she wondered off? Someone would find her and the jig would be up. They couldn't put her in her car seat and then park the car at the bar. People would surely see Caylee and call the authorities. So, Casey the brainiac put Caylee in the trunk of the car, probably thinking that she would come out between drinks and dances and check on her. When she did, Caylee was dead. Was it a chloroform overdose? Perhaps. Was it heat? Perhaps. It would have been mid-June in Florida after all. Or was it the lack of oxygen in the trunk. Maybe without the chloroform, a normal person could breathe in a trunk. But the respiratory depression caused by the chloroform was too much for the oxygen-deprived environment.
Casey found Caylee dead in the trunk and didn't know what to do. She left her in the trunk for a few days while she tried to figure it out. Finally, after a few days, she decided to bury Caylee in her parents' backyard. You see, Cindy and George thought Casey and Caylee were at a conference and going to amusement parks. So Casey waited until her parents were not home. She went to their house, took Caylee out of the trunk and laid her in the back yard near her playhouse. This is why the cadaver dogs alerted to the back yard of the Anthony home. Casey thought, since her dad had already freaked out about the gas can, that she had better not use his shovel to dig the hole. He would surely notice something. So, despite there being 3 shovels in the Anthony's shed, Casey borrowed a shovel from the neighbor. At some point she either decided it was too much work or perhaps too time consuming and she became fearful that her parents would come home while she was burying Caylee. So she decided on another plan. In the meantime, she saw something very disturbing. Flies had infested Caylee's little body and were crawling in and out of her nose and mouth. So, Casey went to her father's garage and got duct tape to cover Caylee's mouth and nose to stop the flies. Some small part of her felt remorseful so she got one of Caylee's little heart stickers and placed it over the duct tape that covered Caylee's face. While she was in the garage, Casey also got the bags to wrap Caylee in. She bundled up her little girl and put her back in the trunk. She drive her down the road about 5 blocks and tossed her into the swamp. Then, she returned to her boyfriend and continued her carefree party life.
Sick? Yes. Criminal? Yes. Horrible? Yes. Unpunished? Unfortunately, yes. The criminal justice system has failed Caylee Marie Anthony. It is all we can hope for that this little girl is somehow at peace, despite the travesties that have taken place. There has been no justice for Caylee.
Friday, April 15, 2011
My Hero, The Astonishing Crusader
We lost a little kitten today. Snowpants was only 8 months old but his life just wasn't meant to be any longer. He was rescued by my friend Barb's sister, Beth, when he, his mother and his two brothers, Skimask and Toboggan, showed up on her farm in the dead of winter. Beth fed them and did her best to care for the feral little felines. And although she enjoyed their presence, she cared enough to want a better life for them. When she called Barb for help, there was no hesitation. Snowpants developed a terrible upper respiratory infection that caused him to stop eating. At his age, he didn't have much wiggle room for weight loss. We consulted the vet and began round-the-clock feedings with prescription, high protein canned food. We gave him sugar and electrolytes to correct his blood values. We gave him milk replacer for the nutrients. Three different antibiotics coursed through his veins. We wiped his little nose almost constantly. And we worried as he just seemed to get sicker and sicker despite our best efforts. At about 4:30pm today, he slipped away to play at the Rainbow Bridge and wait for that fateful day when one of us joins him to cross over. As I was putting away the medical periphernalia after we lost this sweet little boy, I couldn't help but think about my friend Barb. Rescue has made me a little less traumatized by the sadness that accompanies a loss like this. And I wondered if Barb understood what a true hero she really is. The outcome wasn't what we all had hoped for but he died today with food in his belly and love in his heart. You see, far too many cats never know what it is to be loved. They never get a chance to purr. They only know starvation and cruelty. They are more accustomed to be shot at than cuddled. Because Barb ignored the naysayers who would call her crazy and because she knew and understood the adversity she would face by taking on these animals but said to the world, "They need me and I will be there for them," Snowpants got to know kindness. He got to know peace. He got to know love in the truest, most unconditional sense of the word. He was feral...reacting to the cruelties of the world for his own self-preservation. Trust no one! But Barb saw through that. "It's ok Punky Butt," she would say as he hissed and carried on, "You're just scared and that's ok." She accepted him and, above all, posed no threat so that he could learn trust. I believe that everyone should have heroes. Joseph Campbell said, "A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself." I am blessed in my life and in my animal-rescue career to have met a few people I regard as heroes. However, I have met but one Astonishing Crusader. She is an amazing, spiritual, eclectic, fascinating, caring, kind, generous, determined, gregarious, intelligent, wise, accepting woman who I am proud to call my friend. Barb, please know that, although his life was too short, Snowpants passed away today, having found love and trust. He got a chance to purr and a chance to be held and cuddled. He knew freedom from starvation. He knew warmth. And none of that would have ever happened without you. I am so grateful to know you and to be a witness to your strength of character and extraordinary heart. This world would be a better place if more people were like you. God bless you my friend. The cats are smiling down on you and good things will happen.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Scott Walker and Abortion in America
It's been awhile since I have blogged and I probably should have been saying things about Wisconsin's Nazi Governor all along, but this morning he really hit home. Channel 3 News is reporting that Governor Douchebag's now famous Budget Repair Bill repeals the law passed during the tenure of Governor Jim Doyle (Oh how I miss him!) that requires insurance companies to pay for birth control. This idiot has GOT to be stopped. Has he considered the ramifications here?
Not all birth control for women is used to do as the name implies and prevent pregnancy. Many women take it for the hormonal benefits in fighting acne and for helping with painful conditions such as endometriosis. Endometriosis, according to a women's health website, affects 70 million people worldwide. Does Douchebag think none of them live in Wisconsin? Or does he think that women can just suffer the pain? After all, it's not as painful as childbirth. It's also not as intermittent as labor pains and does not go away when the baby comes out. I think God knew what he was doing when he didn't allow men to get pregnant. Candy asses like Walker would likely kill themselves. (Hmmmm...maybe we are onto something there!)
If that isn't argument enough, what about women that are raped or are being continually sexually abused throughout their lives? Yes, ideally, we would prevent these situations, but wouldn't you AT LEAST be glad that the young lady is on birth control and not having children by her uncle or father? Yeah, that's a good idea, Douchebag! Let's take away the ONLY saving grace these young girls have to not be COMPLETELY scarred for life. It's not bad enough that they are enduring the worst kind of abuse. Let's let them get PREGNANT. Good move, Asshole.
Ok, so let's say that we repeal this very necessary law. According to the Milwaukee Sentinel, Governor Douchebag said during the campaign that he is against abortion, even in cases of rape. (Here is where I really get on my soapbox so watch out!) I am sick and tired, fed up and completely disgusted with people who want to preach about abortion being against their religion, immoral, unethical and blah, blah, blah. NONE OF THAT MATTERS!! What these people fail to realize is that none of these factors have any place in law. The laws are created to protect the masses. Remember when Spock was dying in the chamber in Star Trek 2, The Wrath of Khan? His dying words were, "The good of the many outweighs the good of the few or the one." AMEN! (Flashing the Vulcan finger symbol!)
Let's address religion. Religion is the LAST thing our laws should consider. This country's existence is based on the desires of our Founding Fathers to separate church and state. If not for the disgruntlements with the Church of England, who knows what would have happened. We would all likely be Native American, hunting and gathering and carrying water jugs on our heads from the nearest river. Or we would be European and "North America" would seem as backwards and aboriginal as some African countries do to us today. The First Amendment to the U. S. Constitution reads, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion..." It's right there in black and white, ratified in 1791, some 220 years ago. That means that the United States is a virtual bowl of Fruit Loops with each color representing a different religion, all of which are existing together in the same bowl. There are plenty of green Catholics, orange Lutherans, red Jews, yellow athiests and pink Baptists, just to name a few. Each has their own beliefs to form their circle and display their color and perhaps they bump up against the other religions, but their integrity remains and they do not change shape or color and conform to the other religions in the bowl. That is how it is meant to be. Each is entitled to their own beliefs and existence within the bowl. Therefore, no single religion's beliefs should have absolute influence on the laws that govern the entire bowl.
Now let's address morals and ethics. They are a little bit different. As religious beliefs should never be considered in the making of laws, morals and ethics should, but their consideration should be severely limited. I say this only because each and every person in America has their own set of morals and their own idea of ethics. Again, laws should be made for the masses, not the few. If that is done correctly, morals and ethics are not an issue. Only when we have Douchebags like Scott Walker trying to make laws, do they come into question. I can't believe that he thinks that taking birth control away from a woman who has been raped is moral or ethical. Sure, he will argue that he is not "taking away" birth control. He is simply not forcing insurance companies to pay for it. So the 16 year old runaway on the streets in Milwaukee who is still, thankfully, covered by her parents' insurance just has to pray she doesn't get pregnant when she is out turning tricks as a matter of survival. It's ugly, yes, but if Douchebag thinks it doesn't happen in Wisconsin, I have news for him.
The ONLY thing that has a place in our laws is LOGIC. We MUST employ the use of logic in order to make sure the laws are best for the masses and do not cater to the few or the one. Will every law please everyone? Certainly not. I'm not happy that I can't drive more than 65 mph on the interstate. But does it keep me and other drivers safer? Sure it does. And that is why it is the law. It's LOGICAL that slower speeds cause less horrific crashes and enable the driver to better keep the vehicle under control, especially in the event of a blown tire, etc.
Now let's talk about Roe vs. Wade. In 1973, the U. S. Supreme Court ruled that, as part of the right to privacy, women had the right to abortion. This was to be regulated by each state under strict guidelines regarding the age of the fetus (the trimester of pregnancy) and risks to the mother. So what was going on prior to 1973? According to the website http://www.physiciansforlife.org/, 17 states had legalized abortion in 1972, the year before Roe v Wade was ruled upon. In those 17 states, 587,000 women got abortions. That averages out to 34,529 abortions per state. I am sure there was some cross-over (ie. people traveling from other states where abortion was illegal to states where it was legal.) In 1973, when Roe v Wade was ruled upon and abortion became legal in all states, that number jumped to 744,600. So, for the sake of argument, let's say that the numbers of women needing abortions were the same in 1972 and in 1973. That means that 176,600 women, in 1974, got their abortions illegally. What does that mean? That means they had three options. The first was a physician in the United States was willing to do it illegally, probably after hours without assistance and not under the most sterile conditions. This option was the best if the woman was lucky enough to find such a physician. Or it meant traveling to other countries, most likely Mexico, where conditions were not sterile and methods were not medically advanced and, therefore, safe. The person performing the abortion may have been a doctor or he may have been a drunk from the local taberna just looking to make some cash. Or, third, it meant doing it themselves with items such as wire coat hangers. Sometimes women took drastic measures such as drinking poisons or throwing themselves down a flight of stairs in an effort to dislodge the fetus. Is this really what Douchebag is suggesting we return to? I submit that it is.
The bottom line, and my well-thought-out-but-rambling point here is simple: In the year 2011 in the United States of America, the most technologically advanced nation in the world, WE CANNOT SEND WOMEN BACK TO ALLEYS WITH COAT HANGERS!! Forget about religion, ethics and morals. It is ILLOGICAL that we would allow this to happen. If a woman desperately wants or needs an abortion, it is clear that she will find a way to get one. Shouldn't we protect her so that it is at least safe? In 1983, just 10 years after Roe v Wade, 1,575,000 women got legal abortions. How many of them would have gone to the drastic measures I mentioned above if not for Roe v Wade? Regardless of whether or not we think abortion is right in the eyes of God...whheter or not we think it is moral...whether or not we think it is ethical...it IS going to happen. Did we learn nothing in this country from the 18th Amendment (ratified in 1919) that outlawed the use of "intoxicating liquors" and established an era in our history known as "Prohibition?" Well, in case you have forgotten your history lessons...IT DIDN'T WORK! It was repealed by the 21st Amendment in 1933, but not until we saw a HUGE boom in violent and organized crime. We repealed it because we realized it was causing more problems than it solved. People who wanted to drink were going to do it, regardless of the law. John D. Rockefeller (Recognize that name?) wrote the following words to the Supreme Court:
"When Prohibition was introduced, I hoped that it would be widely supported by public opinion and the day would soon come that the evil affects of alcohol would be recognized. I have slowly and reluctantly come to believe that this has not been the result. Instead, drinking has generally increased; the speakeasy has replaced the saloon; a vast army of lawbreakers has appeared; many of our best citizens have openly ignored Prohibition; respect for the law has been greatly lessened; and crime has increased to a level never seen before."
Abortion is no different. So save your religious arguments. Save your ethical ramblings. Save your moral high horse. Abortion MUST remain legal to keep those who will do it anyway, safe. It's the logical thing to do. And it starts with not taking away the only ability some women have to obtain birth control. Scott Walker is a dictator and a dangerously misguided politician with unfortunate power. But, as Abe Lincoln said in the Gettysburg Address in 1863, "...this nation under God shall have a birth of new freedom, and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the Earth." Scott Walker must go.
(Getting down off my soapbox...)
Not all birth control for women is used to do as the name implies and prevent pregnancy. Many women take it for the hormonal benefits in fighting acne and for helping with painful conditions such as endometriosis. Endometriosis, according to a women's health website, affects 70 million people worldwide. Does Douchebag think none of them live in Wisconsin? Or does he think that women can just suffer the pain? After all, it's not as painful as childbirth. It's also not as intermittent as labor pains and does not go away when the baby comes out. I think God knew what he was doing when he didn't allow men to get pregnant. Candy asses like Walker would likely kill themselves. (Hmmmm...maybe we are onto something there!)
If that isn't argument enough, what about women that are raped or are being continually sexually abused throughout their lives? Yes, ideally, we would prevent these situations, but wouldn't you AT LEAST be glad that the young lady is on birth control and not having children by her uncle or father? Yeah, that's a good idea, Douchebag! Let's take away the ONLY saving grace these young girls have to not be COMPLETELY scarred for life. It's not bad enough that they are enduring the worst kind of abuse. Let's let them get PREGNANT. Good move, Asshole.
Ok, so let's say that we repeal this very necessary law. According to the Milwaukee Sentinel, Governor Douchebag said during the campaign that he is against abortion, even in cases of rape. (Here is where I really get on my soapbox so watch out!) I am sick and tired, fed up and completely disgusted with people who want to preach about abortion being against their religion, immoral, unethical and blah, blah, blah. NONE OF THAT MATTERS!! What these people fail to realize is that none of these factors have any place in law. The laws are created to protect the masses. Remember when Spock was dying in the chamber in Star Trek 2, The Wrath of Khan? His dying words were, "The good of the many outweighs the good of the few or the one." AMEN! (Flashing the Vulcan finger symbol!)
Let's address religion. Religion is the LAST thing our laws should consider. This country's existence is based on the desires of our Founding Fathers to separate church and state. If not for the disgruntlements with the Church of England, who knows what would have happened. We would all likely be Native American, hunting and gathering and carrying water jugs on our heads from the nearest river. Or we would be European and "North America" would seem as backwards and aboriginal as some African countries do to us today. The First Amendment to the U. S. Constitution reads, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion..." It's right there in black and white, ratified in 1791, some 220 years ago. That means that the United States is a virtual bowl of Fruit Loops with each color representing a different religion, all of which are existing together in the same bowl. There are plenty of green Catholics, orange Lutherans, red Jews, yellow athiests and pink Baptists, just to name a few. Each has their own beliefs to form their circle and display their color and perhaps they bump up against the other religions, but their integrity remains and they do not change shape or color and conform to the other religions in the bowl. That is how it is meant to be. Each is entitled to their own beliefs and existence within the bowl. Therefore, no single religion's beliefs should have absolute influence on the laws that govern the entire bowl.
Now let's address morals and ethics. They are a little bit different. As religious beliefs should never be considered in the making of laws, morals and ethics should, but their consideration should be severely limited. I say this only because each and every person in America has their own set of morals and their own idea of ethics. Again, laws should be made for the masses, not the few. If that is done correctly, morals and ethics are not an issue. Only when we have Douchebags like Scott Walker trying to make laws, do they come into question. I can't believe that he thinks that taking birth control away from a woman who has been raped is moral or ethical. Sure, he will argue that he is not "taking away" birth control. He is simply not forcing insurance companies to pay for it. So the 16 year old runaway on the streets in Milwaukee who is still, thankfully, covered by her parents' insurance just has to pray she doesn't get pregnant when she is out turning tricks as a matter of survival. It's ugly, yes, but if Douchebag thinks it doesn't happen in Wisconsin, I have news for him.
The ONLY thing that has a place in our laws is LOGIC. We MUST employ the use of logic in order to make sure the laws are best for the masses and do not cater to the few or the one. Will every law please everyone? Certainly not. I'm not happy that I can't drive more than 65 mph on the interstate. But does it keep me and other drivers safer? Sure it does. And that is why it is the law. It's LOGICAL that slower speeds cause less horrific crashes and enable the driver to better keep the vehicle under control, especially in the event of a blown tire, etc.
Now let's talk about Roe vs. Wade. In 1973, the U. S. Supreme Court ruled that, as part of the right to privacy, women had the right to abortion. This was to be regulated by each state under strict guidelines regarding the age of the fetus (the trimester of pregnancy) and risks to the mother. So what was going on prior to 1973? According to the website http://www.physiciansforlife.org/, 17 states had legalized abortion in 1972, the year before Roe v Wade was ruled upon. In those 17 states, 587,000 women got abortions. That averages out to 34,529 abortions per state. I am sure there was some cross-over (ie. people traveling from other states where abortion was illegal to states where it was legal.) In 1973, when Roe v Wade was ruled upon and abortion became legal in all states, that number jumped to 744,600. So, for the sake of argument, let's say that the numbers of women needing abortions were the same in 1972 and in 1973. That means that 176,600 women, in 1974, got their abortions illegally. What does that mean? That means they had three options. The first was a physician in the United States was willing to do it illegally, probably after hours without assistance and not under the most sterile conditions. This option was the best if the woman was lucky enough to find such a physician. Or it meant traveling to other countries, most likely Mexico, where conditions were not sterile and methods were not medically advanced and, therefore, safe. The person performing the abortion may have been a doctor or he may have been a drunk from the local taberna just looking to make some cash. Or, third, it meant doing it themselves with items such as wire coat hangers. Sometimes women took drastic measures such as drinking poisons or throwing themselves down a flight of stairs in an effort to dislodge the fetus. Is this really what Douchebag is suggesting we return to? I submit that it is.
The bottom line, and my well-thought-out-but-rambling point here is simple: In the year 2011 in the United States of America, the most technologically advanced nation in the world, WE CANNOT SEND WOMEN BACK TO ALLEYS WITH COAT HANGERS!! Forget about religion, ethics and morals. It is ILLOGICAL that we would allow this to happen. If a woman desperately wants or needs an abortion, it is clear that she will find a way to get one. Shouldn't we protect her so that it is at least safe? In 1983, just 10 years after Roe v Wade, 1,575,000 women got legal abortions. How many of them would have gone to the drastic measures I mentioned above if not for Roe v Wade? Regardless of whether or not we think abortion is right in the eyes of God...whheter or not we think it is moral...whether or not we think it is ethical...it IS going to happen. Did we learn nothing in this country from the 18th Amendment (ratified in 1919) that outlawed the use of "intoxicating liquors" and established an era in our history known as "Prohibition?" Well, in case you have forgotten your history lessons...IT DIDN'T WORK! It was repealed by the 21st Amendment in 1933, but not until we saw a HUGE boom in violent and organized crime. We repealed it because we realized it was causing more problems than it solved. People who wanted to drink were going to do it, regardless of the law. John D. Rockefeller (Recognize that name?) wrote the following words to the Supreme Court:
"When Prohibition was introduced, I hoped that it would be widely supported by public opinion and the day would soon come that the evil affects of alcohol would be recognized. I have slowly and reluctantly come to believe that this has not been the result. Instead, drinking has generally increased; the speakeasy has replaced the saloon; a vast army of lawbreakers has appeared; many of our best citizens have openly ignored Prohibition; respect for the law has been greatly lessened; and crime has increased to a level never seen before."
Abortion is no different. So save your religious arguments. Save your ethical ramblings. Save your moral high horse. Abortion MUST remain legal to keep those who will do it anyway, safe. It's the logical thing to do. And it starts with not taking away the only ability some women have to obtain birth control. Scott Walker is a dictator and a dangerously misguided politician with unfortunate power. But, as Abe Lincoln said in the Gettysburg Address in 1863, "...this nation under God shall have a birth of new freedom, and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the Earth." Scott Walker must go.
(Getting down off my soapbox...)
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Inner Strength
It's that power that comes from within you. It's that ability to pick up your head and hold it high, even in the face of the most difficult adversity. It's the strength to say, "This is who I am. This is what I believe in. And it is not up to you to approve." The last 24 hours have been an amazing personal journey for me and I woke up this morning with a kind of inner strength I didn't know existed. In my greatest defeat, I have found the ability to declare victory. You see, I have never been a quitter. I have never been one to be passive when I feel like things are not just. I have never been able to keep my mouth shut when someone is picking on the underdog. And I have always been one to believe in hope with every fiber of my being to the very bitter end. After 7 years of fighting with members of my family, I decided yesterday to just be done with it. I felt defeated. I felt like I had lost. It was a kind of mourning that I am all too familiar with after the loss of my brother in October. But this morning when I woke up after a restless night, I was reminded of something my former sister said to me once. There is a certain irony to the fact that she is the one who said it, but it has been something I have always carried with me. In the late 1990s I was struggling with my decision to leave EMS, a career that I absolutely loved. Thairn left a message on my answering machine in which she said, "Today is a new day. The sun is shining and everything is going to be just fine." It was simple, but to the point and it has remained my mantra all of these years. So, today I greet the day with a renewed inner strength, given to me not only by the words of my former sister so long ago, but also by the support and encouragement of some of the most outstanding people on the planet...my friends. Rodney told me last night (in between trying to lecture me) that I don't have a choice when it comes to family. He said I am a member of the Shields family and I can't change that. To that I say, HA! WATCH ME! I choose my friends to become my family. In my loss, I have gained more brothers and sisters than I ever had before. And those members of the Shields family who feel they can see through the lies and not sit in judgement of me, have reached out to me and I have accepted that they will remain family. But they understand that they are my family without the involvement of the others who have chosen to force this separation. Letting go is difficult for me because I am a fighter. I am a Leo, the king of the jungle, the toughest of the tough. Walking away is not in my nature and the realization that, in this case, walking away is victory has been very difficult. It is a thought process that is foreign to me on every level. But, ironically, it was again my former sister Thairn who brought me to this realization. You see, when Christmas was appraoching, she sent me a text message stating that she was having a family dinner on the 25th and that I was invited. When I didn't respond, she followed with a message that said, "Let's clear this up...inviting u the 25th - is not an apology - its an invitation to be civil." When I respectfully declined and said that I preferred to spend Christmas with people who love me I was told that she would rather spend Christmas with people who don't use others. So I planned my own dinner on the 26th and, not surprisingly, did not invite Thairn. I was told yesterday that Thairn was quite upset, even crying, that I did not invite her. Initially I was confused as to why she ever thought I would invite her after he less-than-welcoming invitation to me. Then I realized that this is all part of the game. For whatever reason, certain members of my former family feel the need to treat me like crap and then expect me to respond lovingly. That makes sense because they know that my love for them has always been and will always be unconditional. So why wouldn't I do the right thing and invite her even though she was a total bitch to me? Well, sorry, but not this time. There is a new sheriff in town and this sheriff doesn't want to ride this emotional rollercoaster anymore. I am off and I am not buying any more tickets. I have come to the realization that all hope of a relationship with them is lost and I am learning to be ok with it. Every day, my inner strength will grow and eventually, they will not be able to ever hurt me again. Someday they will find themselves wondering whatever happened to me, as we have lost contact over the years. I won't be available to answer that question for them.
So, today is, in fact, a new day. The sun is, in fact, shining and everything will, in fact, be just fine. God bless.
So, today is, in fact, a new day. The sun is, in fact, shining and everything will, in fact, be just fine. God bless.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Time Stamps
Today is the first day of the new year and I find myself thinking about the events of my last 39. It is interesting to me how everything in life seems to be related to time stamps, those moments in time when the world stopped turning and lives changed, whether it was for the better or the worse and whether it was personal or not. We all remember where we were on September 11, 2001. Those of you who are my age remember where you were when President Reagan was shot or when either of the space shuttles blew up. We remember the assassination of John Lennon and the election of each president. And then there are personal time stamps. We remember the exact moments that our children are born and where we were when we heard of the passing of a loved one. I think that is what has me thinking about this. It is now 2011, the first year we will experience without Roy. It is a moment in time that will forever burn in my memory and I will forever refer to life events as "before Roy died" or "after Roy died." It is now a reference point in memory. When I try to recall an event in the years to come, I will know how old I was when it occurred based on whether or not my brother was still alive. "I must have been in my thirties when that happened, because Roy was still alive." It is so strange to me that we use these reference points when we have the year itself as a reference point. "That happened in 2009" will become "That happened the year before Roy died."
I'm not sure I have a point to this blog, other than the fact that I am thinking about the past as much as the future as we enter the new year. Maybe I am a little freaked out about turning 40 this year. I mentioned it the other day and my former sister-in-law said, "You can't be 40. You are still 13." which is how she remembers me because that was the age I was when she and my brother divorced. It just proves my point about time stamps. Maybe the answer here is that we need fewer negative time stamps in our lives and more positive ones. As I look back at my life, the time stamps are largely negative. I need to refocus. I need to change those timestamps. Maybe Ray and Kim divorced in 1984, but their daughter was born in 1981 and their son in 1982. Those should be my time stamps. So, in 2011, I resolve to change my time stamps in my mind to positive ones. 2010 will always be "the year we lost Roy" but 2011 doesn't have to be "the year I turned 40." Instead it can be "the year I lost all that weight and regained my health." How is THAT for a New Years resolution?
I'm not sure I have a point to this blog, other than the fact that I am thinking about the past as much as the future as we enter the new year. Maybe I am a little freaked out about turning 40 this year. I mentioned it the other day and my former sister-in-law said, "You can't be 40. You are still 13." which is how she remembers me because that was the age I was when she and my brother divorced. It just proves my point about time stamps. Maybe the answer here is that we need fewer negative time stamps in our lives and more positive ones. As I look back at my life, the time stamps are largely negative. I need to refocus. I need to change those timestamps. Maybe Ray and Kim divorced in 1984, but their daughter was born in 1981 and their son in 1982. Those should be my time stamps. So, in 2011, I resolve to change my time stamps in my mind to positive ones. 2010 will always be "the year we lost Roy" but 2011 doesn't have to be "the year I turned 40." Instead it can be "the year I lost all that weight and regained my health." How is THAT for a New Years resolution?
Friday, December 31, 2010
A Letter to 2011
Dear 2011,
Your much anticipated arrival will occur tonight, promptly at the stroke of midnight. I will be there to meet you, as I have been for the last 40 years. Now, I want you to know that, this time, I have certain expectations. You see, 2010 was the bad tenant that every landlord wants to kick out. He sucked big green lugies on many levels and I am just not willing to let you get away with the same crap. 2010 took my uncle, my favorite cousin and my brother away from me. 2010 took three of my babies, Ozzie, Tucker and Ace away from me. And 2010 took my sanctuary away from me. So, here is the thing. Behavior such as that will not be tolerated. Here is a list of things I expect from you, 2011. These points are not negotiable and you shouldn't bother showing up tonight if you cannot comply.
First, I expect kindness. Someone told me once that you should reap what you sow. Well, I am not perfect, but I try to be nice to my fellow man. How about some of that reaping? And, I would appreciate it if you would be kind to my friends as well. Take Barb for instance. No one has a kinder heart, for animals and for humans. How about being nice to her for a change and giving her the self-esteem and drive she needs to find someone in her life who will treat her the way she deserves to be treated?
Secondly, I expect health. Again, this applies to me and to those I care about. Let's start with Lisa. On February 3rd, she will receive her kidney transplant. That is a good start, but I really don't think she deserves to go through rejection or any other complications. And in regard to my mother: She will be 76 in January and she just can't tolerate illness. 2010 caused her a lot of stress, especially when her son died. So, I am here to say that she better stay healthy or you and I are going to rumble. Furthermore, I have been working hard on a healthier lifestyle and I would appreciate it if you would just allow me to continue on that path and not give me any stupid illnesses like pneumonia or the flu.
Thirdly, I expect peace. 2010 was nothing but drama and I am completely fed up with it. From you, I expect serenity and inner peace. I will do my part to achieve this, but if you would kindly keep the drama to a minimum, I would be thrilled.
Fourth, I expect resolution. I will need a place to live where I can keep my dogs and some of the cats. It is a tall order but there is no way I am parting with them. If that is not possible, you might as well get ugly and take me out, because my life will not be worth living. I have major obstacles in my path to achieving this goal, so I am counting on you to resolve the problem. Somewhere out there is someone who is willing to let me rent-to-own their farm because they love animals and can see that I do too. Bring me that person! And while you are at it, resolve the issues that plague my friend Stacy and her family. She is a good soul with a kind heart and she doesn't deserve all the stress.
Finally, I expect renewed strength. 2010 nearly defeated me and I am tired. I need renewed strength to build the wall that will stop my family members from hurting me. I need strength to rehome 100 cats and send them off into the virtual unknown. And I need strength to get through the daily grind of life.
I hope you understand my demands and will comply accordingly. Again, these conditions are not negotiable. I do hope to see you tonight at midnight. I'll be the one in the pointed hat with the kazoo in my mouth.
Your much anticipated arrival will occur tonight, promptly at the stroke of midnight. I will be there to meet you, as I have been for the last 40 years. Now, I want you to know that, this time, I have certain expectations. You see, 2010 was the bad tenant that every landlord wants to kick out. He sucked big green lugies on many levels and I am just not willing to let you get away with the same crap. 2010 took my uncle, my favorite cousin and my brother away from me. 2010 took three of my babies, Ozzie, Tucker and Ace away from me. And 2010 took my sanctuary away from me. So, here is the thing. Behavior such as that will not be tolerated. Here is a list of things I expect from you, 2011. These points are not negotiable and you shouldn't bother showing up tonight if you cannot comply.
First, I expect kindness. Someone told me once that you should reap what you sow. Well, I am not perfect, but I try to be nice to my fellow man. How about some of that reaping? And, I would appreciate it if you would be kind to my friends as well. Take Barb for instance. No one has a kinder heart, for animals and for humans. How about being nice to her for a change and giving her the self-esteem and drive she needs to find someone in her life who will treat her the way she deserves to be treated?
Secondly, I expect health. Again, this applies to me and to those I care about. Let's start with Lisa. On February 3rd, she will receive her kidney transplant. That is a good start, but I really don't think she deserves to go through rejection or any other complications. And in regard to my mother: She will be 76 in January and she just can't tolerate illness. 2010 caused her a lot of stress, especially when her son died. So, I am here to say that she better stay healthy or you and I are going to rumble. Furthermore, I have been working hard on a healthier lifestyle and I would appreciate it if you would just allow me to continue on that path and not give me any stupid illnesses like pneumonia or the flu.
Thirdly, I expect peace. 2010 was nothing but drama and I am completely fed up with it. From you, I expect serenity and inner peace. I will do my part to achieve this, but if you would kindly keep the drama to a minimum, I would be thrilled.
Fourth, I expect resolution. I will need a place to live where I can keep my dogs and some of the cats. It is a tall order but there is no way I am parting with them. If that is not possible, you might as well get ugly and take me out, because my life will not be worth living. I have major obstacles in my path to achieving this goal, so I am counting on you to resolve the problem. Somewhere out there is someone who is willing to let me rent-to-own their farm because they love animals and can see that I do too. Bring me that person! And while you are at it, resolve the issues that plague my friend Stacy and her family. She is a good soul with a kind heart and she doesn't deserve all the stress.
Finally, I expect renewed strength. 2010 nearly defeated me and I am tired. I need renewed strength to build the wall that will stop my family members from hurting me. I need strength to rehome 100 cats and send them off into the virtual unknown. And I need strength to get through the daily grind of life.
I hope you understand my demands and will comply accordingly. Again, these conditions are not negotiable. I do hope to see you tonight at midnight. I'll be the one in the pointed hat with the kazoo in my mouth.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Halo
Today is one of the toughest days I have ever faced in animal rescue. Four days ago, I was fortunate to aid in the rescue of a year old female kitten who had allegedly been thrown from a moving vehicle on Schwantz Road. And as if the events leading to this rescue were not atrocious enough, the events that followed were unfathomable.
The beautiful kitten, named Halo by the angel that witnessed the event, came into my custody and it wasn't long before I learned what a sweet soul she was. It was all the more heartbreaking that she was so sweet because it made the abuse of her that much more painful. I brought her home and she made herself comfortable, purred easily and ate everything in sight. In an effort to bring some light to the circumstances under which I had acquired Halo, I contacted a friend at the Portage Daily Register and asked if she would be interested in an article that may help bring this person to justice. She readily agreed and the article about Halo hit the paper on Wednesday, December 22.
Before 7am on Wednesday, I received a call from the man who was driving the truck from which the cat was allegedly thrown. Let me be clear here...HE CALLED ME AND TOLD ME IT WAS HIM. This is not my suspicion and this is not a blind accusation. His name is Phil Kamrath and he is a teacher at Pardeeville High School, where, incidentally, his wife is the Principal.
Phil explained that the cats (Halo and her sister) routinely climb into the engines of the family vehicles for warmth. On Monday, as Phil was leaving his house, he heard a thump in the engine and saw, in his rearview mirror, the sister cat tumbling in the driveway, having fallen out of the engine. He assumed that Halo (who they call Nala) was also in the engine so he pulled over and fished her out. Then, he says, he placed her in the open bed of the truck and continued down the road. Now, I ask you...ON WHAT PLANET DOES THAT MAKE SENSE????? He was at the end of his driveway and fished the cat out of the engine. Why not just leave her there so she could return to the house? Why put her in the OPEN BED of the truck and drive her further away from the house? Then, when she allegedly jumped out, why did he not stop and check on her? He just kept driving. Not only does this story not make sense, it is the opposite of what the eyewitness saw. The witness said the cat had been "tossed from the passenger window."
The witness had gotten a description of the truck and a partial plate number and called the Columbia County Sheriff's Department. The responding officer was Deputy Alex Agnew. I was not present when Deputy Agnew arrived on the scene but the witness tells me that he immediately appeared very put off by the situation, as if he was being bothered with the complaint. Since I had met the witness and was there when he found Halo, I took her into my care and left, concentrating on getting her taken care of and checked for injuries. In retrospect, I should have stayed at the scene because, after all, I had the evidence. So I returned to the area and flagged down Deputy Agnew to show him Halo and give him my information. He asked several times if she was injured and she was not. He appeared bothered by this "cat nonsense" and left quickly...I'm sure after he ran my license plates to make sure there was nothing he could arrest me for as a bonus to his day.
Fastforward back to Wednesday after we had confirmation that the driver of the truck was Phil Kamrath. I tried repeatedly to contact Deputy Agnew to ask him where his investigstion was leading him. He couldn't be bothered to call me back. I spoke with Phil Kamrath and explained that I was waiting for a call from Deputy Agnew. So Phil Kamrath called Deputy Agnew and, of course, got through to him right away. (I know this because, initially, Kamrath his redial accidentally and got me. He told me he meant to dial the sheriff's department.) Kamrath told him the story (which, as I pointed out, makes no sense at all) and somehow convinced Deputy Agnew that it was all a misunderstanding. Deputy Agnew called me (finally) and told me that he had spoken to Kamrath and that it was all a misunderstanding and that I had to return Halo. When I pointed out to Deputy Agnew that Kamrath's story didn't add up and didn't jive with the eyewitness account, Deputy Agnew said, "What are you fishing for? He's a teacher and it's his cat so give her back. You are reading too much into this." I was not allowed to say anything further, except to agree that I would contact Phil Kamrath in regard to returning Halo.
Now, I do want to be perfectly clear on one thing. I am not, have not and will not say that Phil Kamrath is an animal abuser. I will not say that he is guilty of this accusation. All I am saying is that the Columbia County Sheriff's Department FAILED to conduct a proper and thorough investigation into this matter, even when Kamrath's story did not make sense or match the eyewitness account. Furthermore, Deputy Agnew NEVER MET WITH KAMRATH IN PERSON. He NEVER checked to make sure that Halo and her sister are provided (as required by law) adequate food, water and shelter. He simply took what Kamrath said and used it as an excuse to wash his hands of the whole cat business, regardless of the fact that there are huge, glaring holes in Kamrath's story.
At noon today, I returned Halo (aka Nala) to the Kamrath home and was met by Phil's children. Phil was not home and the kids told me that Halo never gets let in the house.
Another important point is this...in my discussions with Phil Kamrath, I asked him if he would please allow me to get Halo and her sister spayed and vaccinated at no cost to them. His response was to decline, saying that "it doesn't matter how many cats are out here" and "my daughters are looking forward to having kittens around." I have a few things to say about that. First of all, Mr. Kamrath, you are inside the limits of the Village of Pardeeville and, according to their ordinances, it DOES matter how many cats are out there. Secondly, the cats you have are not licensed by the village, as required by law. Thirdly, let me introduce you to a little thing I like to call CAT MATH.
Halo and her sister, if left unspayed, are destined to have 2 litters of kittens each per year for an average of 10 reproductive years. Statistically, four kittens from each litter will live to adulthood (8 kittens each per year). So, in a single year, that is 16 new kittens. When those 16 come to maturity and begin having kittens (again, each having 2 litters with 4 survivors annually, so multiplying this number by 8), we are up to 128 more kittens. Those 128 will have 1024. Those 1024 will produce 8192. The 8192 will produce 65,536. Those 65,536 will produce 524,288. In the 8th year after the initial 16 kittens were born to Halo and her sister, that 524,288 will become 4,194,304. In year 9, we will be up to 33,554,432. And finally in year 10, we will be up to 268,435,456. Stop for a moment and digest that number and then realize that you have to take into account that each one of these cats has an average reproductive lifespan of 10 years. So that original 16 will not only produce 128 kittens...they will produce 128 of them EACH YEAR for 10 years. That's 1280 new kittens, meaning that the grand total of 268,435,456 new cats is the total for a SINGLE YEAR. So if we cut off each number at a grand total of 10 years, meaning that the first group is considered for 10 years, the second group for 9 years, the third group for 8 years and so on, we can arrive at a grand total as follows:
First, Halo and her sister will have 16 kittens each year for 10 years. That's 160.
The 16 offspring of Halo and her sister will produce 8 kittens each for 9 years in our study:
16 x 8 x 9 = 1,152
The 128 annual offspring of the aforemention 16 will produce 8 kittens each year for 8 years in our study:
128 x 8 x 8 = 8,192
The 1,024 annual offspring of the aforementioned 128 will produce 8 kittens each year for 7 years in our study:
1,024 x 8 x 7 = 57,344
The 8,192 annual offspring of the aforementioned 1,024 will produce 8 kittens each year for 6 years in our study:
8,192 x 8 x 6 = 393,216
The 65,536 annual offspring of the aforementioned 8,192 will produce 8 kittens each year for 5 years in our study:
65,536 x 8 x 5 = 2,621,440
The 524,288 annual offspring of the aforementioned 65,536 will produce 8 kittens each year for 4 years in our study:
524,288 x 8 x 4 = 17,417,216
The 4,194,304 annual offspring of the aforementioned 524,288 will produce 8 kittens each year for 3 years in our study:
4,194,304 x 8 x 3 = 100,663,296
The 33,554,432 annual offspring of the aforementioned 4,194,304 will produce 8 kittens each year for 2 years of our study:
33,554,432 x 8 x 2 = 536,870,912
The 268,435,456 annual offspring of the aforementioned 33,554,432 will produce 8 kittens each in the final year of our 10 year study:
268,435,456 x 8 x 1 = 2,147,483,648
Now, to get our ten year total, we have to add all those totals together:
2 (Halo and her sister) + 160 + 1,152 + 8,192 + 57,344 + 393,216 + 2,621,440 + 17,417,216 + 100,663,296 + 536,870,912 + 2,147,483,648 = 2,805,516,578. Let me read that number for you while it sinks in... that's TWO BILLION, EIGHT HUNDRED FIVE MILLION, FIVE HUNDRED SIXTEEN THOUSAND, FIVE HUNDRED SEVENTY-EIGHT CATS BORN IN A TEN YEAR SPAN BECAUSE MR. KAMRATH FELT IT UNIMPORTANT TO HAVE HALO AND HER SISTER SPAYED.
What will the outcome of this insanity? The cats will starve. The cats will freeze to death. The cats will suffer from distemper and other diseases. The cats will become prey to raccoons and coyotes. Those that survive will inundate the neighborhood and colonize...a practice that is not tolerated by most people with their pristine lawns and perfect gardens. And because all of the legal resources to help get the cat population under control are already overtaxed with other people's idiocy, the people who are bothered by the colony will set out poison and kill traps, often drowning the cats or burning them alive once they have caught them or they will pull out their shotguns and laugh as they take taget practice. I wonder if, when Phil Kamrath said that his daughters were looking forward to kittens, he thought at all about the kittens. And how are his daughters going to feel when one of their favorite kittens is snatched by a coyote right in front of their eyes? I suppose their answer will be to shoot the coyotes. How will his kids feel when they go out to see the new kittens and two of them are missing their heads because a raccoon got into their shelter?
The frustration that I feel with this entire situation is overwhelming. And the sadness is unbearable. You see, I learn something from every cat that comes into my care. Alecs has taught me how to be strong. Sarge has taught me devotion. Chance has taught me passion. Augustus has taught me to ignore the odds and fight. Maxie has taught me that life is worth living. And in four short days, Halo taught me that, when life is cruel, you carry on and love like everything is going to be ok. I promised that little girl that no one would ever hurt her again. Deputy Alex Agnew made me break that promise because he wasn't willing to do his job...a job for which I help to pay his salary as a taxpayer of this county. He forced me into a position where I had to choose between returning Halo to a situation I believe is not good for her and risking my entire sanctuary population. I just want to say, I'm so sorry Halo. I know I have let you down and my heart is breaking. Please stay strong. I will pray for your safety and I will pray that the Village of Pardeeville will not be as ignorant and complacent as the Columbia County Sheriff's Department and will force the Kamraths to spay you and take care of you. I pray they will not force you to live your life as a kitten factory. I pray you will forgive me for letting you down. I wish I could explain humans to you...but I'm afraid I don't understand them myself. I love you, Halo. Godspeed little one...
The beautiful kitten, named Halo by the angel that witnessed the event, came into my custody and it wasn't long before I learned what a sweet soul she was. It was all the more heartbreaking that she was so sweet because it made the abuse of her that much more painful. I brought her home and she made herself comfortable, purred easily and ate everything in sight. In an effort to bring some light to the circumstances under which I had acquired Halo, I contacted a friend at the Portage Daily Register and asked if she would be interested in an article that may help bring this person to justice. She readily agreed and the article about Halo hit the paper on Wednesday, December 22.
Before 7am on Wednesday, I received a call from the man who was driving the truck from which the cat was allegedly thrown. Let me be clear here...HE CALLED ME AND TOLD ME IT WAS HIM. This is not my suspicion and this is not a blind accusation. His name is Phil Kamrath and he is a teacher at Pardeeville High School, where, incidentally, his wife is the Principal.
Phil explained that the cats (Halo and her sister) routinely climb into the engines of the family vehicles for warmth. On Monday, as Phil was leaving his house, he heard a thump in the engine and saw, in his rearview mirror, the sister cat tumbling in the driveway, having fallen out of the engine. He assumed that Halo (who they call Nala) was also in the engine so he pulled over and fished her out. Then, he says, he placed her in the open bed of the truck and continued down the road. Now, I ask you...ON WHAT PLANET DOES THAT MAKE SENSE????? He was at the end of his driveway and fished the cat out of the engine. Why not just leave her there so she could return to the house? Why put her in the OPEN BED of the truck and drive her further away from the house? Then, when she allegedly jumped out, why did he not stop and check on her? He just kept driving. Not only does this story not make sense, it is the opposite of what the eyewitness saw. The witness said the cat had been "tossed from the passenger window."
The witness had gotten a description of the truck and a partial plate number and called the Columbia County Sheriff's Department. The responding officer was Deputy Alex Agnew. I was not present when Deputy Agnew arrived on the scene but the witness tells me that he immediately appeared very put off by the situation, as if he was being bothered with the complaint. Since I had met the witness and was there when he found Halo, I took her into my care and left, concentrating on getting her taken care of and checked for injuries. In retrospect, I should have stayed at the scene because, after all, I had the evidence. So I returned to the area and flagged down Deputy Agnew to show him Halo and give him my information. He asked several times if she was injured and she was not. He appeared bothered by this "cat nonsense" and left quickly...I'm sure after he ran my license plates to make sure there was nothing he could arrest me for as a bonus to his day.
Fastforward back to Wednesday after we had confirmation that the driver of the truck was Phil Kamrath. I tried repeatedly to contact Deputy Agnew to ask him where his investigstion was leading him. He couldn't be bothered to call me back. I spoke with Phil Kamrath and explained that I was waiting for a call from Deputy Agnew. So Phil Kamrath called Deputy Agnew and, of course, got through to him right away. (I know this because, initially, Kamrath his redial accidentally and got me. He told me he meant to dial the sheriff's department.) Kamrath told him the story (which, as I pointed out, makes no sense at all) and somehow convinced Deputy Agnew that it was all a misunderstanding. Deputy Agnew called me (finally) and told me that he had spoken to Kamrath and that it was all a misunderstanding and that I had to return Halo. When I pointed out to Deputy Agnew that Kamrath's story didn't add up and didn't jive with the eyewitness account, Deputy Agnew said, "What are you fishing for? He's a teacher and it's his cat so give her back. You are reading too much into this." I was not allowed to say anything further, except to agree that I would contact Phil Kamrath in regard to returning Halo.
Now, I do want to be perfectly clear on one thing. I am not, have not and will not say that Phil Kamrath is an animal abuser. I will not say that he is guilty of this accusation. All I am saying is that the Columbia County Sheriff's Department FAILED to conduct a proper and thorough investigation into this matter, even when Kamrath's story did not make sense or match the eyewitness account. Furthermore, Deputy Agnew NEVER MET WITH KAMRATH IN PERSON. He NEVER checked to make sure that Halo and her sister are provided (as required by law) adequate food, water and shelter. He simply took what Kamrath said and used it as an excuse to wash his hands of the whole cat business, regardless of the fact that there are huge, glaring holes in Kamrath's story.
At noon today, I returned Halo (aka Nala) to the Kamrath home and was met by Phil's children. Phil was not home and the kids told me that Halo never gets let in the house.
Another important point is this...in my discussions with Phil Kamrath, I asked him if he would please allow me to get Halo and her sister spayed and vaccinated at no cost to them. His response was to decline, saying that "it doesn't matter how many cats are out here" and "my daughters are looking forward to having kittens around." I have a few things to say about that. First of all, Mr. Kamrath, you are inside the limits of the Village of Pardeeville and, according to their ordinances, it DOES matter how many cats are out there. Secondly, the cats you have are not licensed by the village, as required by law. Thirdly, let me introduce you to a little thing I like to call CAT MATH.
Halo and her sister, if left unspayed, are destined to have 2 litters of kittens each per year for an average of 10 reproductive years. Statistically, four kittens from each litter will live to adulthood (8 kittens each per year). So, in a single year, that is 16 new kittens. When those 16 come to maturity and begin having kittens (again, each having 2 litters with 4 survivors annually, so multiplying this number by 8), we are up to 128 more kittens. Those 128 will have 1024. Those 1024 will produce 8192. The 8192 will produce 65,536. Those 65,536 will produce 524,288. In the 8th year after the initial 16 kittens were born to Halo and her sister, that 524,288 will become 4,194,304. In year 9, we will be up to 33,554,432. And finally in year 10, we will be up to 268,435,456. Stop for a moment and digest that number and then realize that you have to take into account that each one of these cats has an average reproductive lifespan of 10 years. So that original 16 will not only produce 128 kittens...they will produce 128 of them EACH YEAR for 10 years. That's 1280 new kittens, meaning that the grand total of 268,435,456 new cats is the total for a SINGLE YEAR. So if we cut off each number at a grand total of 10 years, meaning that the first group is considered for 10 years, the second group for 9 years, the third group for 8 years and so on, we can arrive at a grand total as follows:
First, Halo and her sister will have 16 kittens each year for 10 years. That's 160.
The 16 offspring of Halo and her sister will produce 8 kittens each for 9 years in our study:
16 x 8 x 9 = 1,152
The 128 annual offspring of the aforemention 16 will produce 8 kittens each year for 8 years in our study:
128 x 8 x 8 = 8,192
The 1,024 annual offspring of the aforementioned 128 will produce 8 kittens each year for 7 years in our study:
1,024 x 8 x 7 = 57,344
The 8,192 annual offspring of the aforementioned 1,024 will produce 8 kittens each year for 6 years in our study:
8,192 x 8 x 6 = 393,216
The 65,536 annual offspring of the aforementioned 8,192 will produce 8 kittens each year for 5 years in our study:
65,536 x 8 x 5 = 2,621,440
The 524,288 annual offspring of the aforementioned 65,536 will produce 8 kittens each year for 4 years in our study:
524,288 x 8 x 4 = 17,417,216
The 4,194,304 annual offspring of the aforementioned 524,288 will produce 8 kittens each year for 3 years in our study:
4,194,304 x 8 x 3 = 100,663,296
The 33,554,432 annual offspring of the aforementioned 4,194,304 will produce 8 kittens each year for 2 years of our study:
33,554,432 x 8 x 2 = 536,870,912
The 268,435,456 annual offspring of the aforementioned 33,554,432 will produce 8 kittens each in the final year of our 10 year study:
268,435,456 x 8 x 1 = 2,147,483,648
Now, to get our ten year total, we have to add all those totals together:
2 (Halo and her sister) + 160 + 1,152 + 8,192 + 57,344 + 393,216 + 2,621,440 + 17,417,216 + 100,663,296 + 536,870,912 + 2,147,483,648 = 2,805,516,578. Let me read that number for you while it sinks in... that's TWO BILLION, EIGHT HUNDRED FIVE MILLION, FIVE HUNDRED SIXTEEN THOUSAND, FIVE HUNDRED SEVENTY-EIGHT CATS BORN IN A TEN YEAR SPAN BECAUSE MR. KAMRATH FELT IT UNIMPORTANT TO HAVE HALO AND HER SISTER SPAYED.
What will the outcome of this insanity? The cats will starve. The cats will freeze to death. The cats will suffer from distemper and other diseases. The cats will become prey to raccoons and coyotes. Those that survive will inundate the neighborhood and colonize...a practice that is not tolerated by most people with their pristine lawns and perfect gardens. And because all of the legal resources to help get the cat population under control are already overtaxed with other people's idiocy, the people who are bothered by the colony will set out poison and kill traps, often drowning the cats or burning them alive once they have caught them or they will pull out their shotguns and laugh as they take taget practice. I wonder if, when Phil Kamrath said that his daughters were looking forward to kittens, he thought at all about the kittens. And how are his daughters going to feel when one of their favorite kittens is snatched by a coyote right in front of their eyes? I suppose their answer will be to shoot the coyotes. How will his kids feel when they go out to see the new kittens and two of them are missing their heads because a raccoon got into their shelter?
The frustration that I feel with this entire situation is overwhelming. And the sadness is unbearable. You see, I learn something from every cat that comes into my care. Alecs has taught me how to be strong. Sarge has taught me devotion. Chance has taught me passion. Augustus has taught me to ignore the odds and fight. Maxie has taught me that life is worth living. And in four short days, Halo taught me that, when life is cruel, you carry on and love like everything is going to be ok. I promised that little girl that no one would ever hurt her again. Deputy Alex Agnew made me break that promise because he wasn't willing to do his job...a job for which I help to pay his salary as a taxpayer of this county. He forced me into a position where I had to choose between returning Halo to a situation I believe is not good for her and risking my entire sanctuary population. I just want to say, I'm so sorry Halo. I know I have let you down and my heart is breaking. Please stay strong. I will pray for your safety and I will pray that the Village of Pardeeville will not be as ignorant and complacent as the Columbia County Sheriff's Department and will force the Kamraths to spay you and take care of you. I pray they will not force you to live your life as a kitten factory. I pray you will forgive me for letting you down. I wish I could explain humans to you...but I'm afraid I don't understand them myself. I love you, Halo. Godspeed little one...
Friday, December 3, 2010
Reflections on 2010
Lately I find myself reflecting on the last year and I am trying to figure out how to put a positive spin on things. But the truth is, all and all, 2010 left a little to be desired. January started with bogus charges by the Columbia County Sheriff's Department that are still unresolved at the expense of the taxpayers. Those same charges may well start 2011 off on the wrong foot.
In February, my uncle Fritz (mom's brother) passed away in Germany from complications of a blood clot.
In June, Jennifer moved out and informed me that she intends to allow foreclosure of the house and, therefore, the sanctuary. All of my kids need to be rehomed and I have no idea where I am going to live with 20+ cats (if I get the number down to that) and 7 dogs.
In July I began working as a Veterinary Assistant at B & R Veterinary Clinic in DeForest. That turned out to be one of the biggest mistakes of my life. The woman should not be allowed to call herself a vet. So, here I am unemployed again. Also in July, my beloved Ozzie lost his 7 year battle with diabetes and died in my arms.
August didn't get any better. My cousin Gerhard passed away at age 61 from lung cancer and my cherished 12 year old persian, Tucker, died of kidney failure.
In September, my sweet Ace man died at the foot of my bed without any warning. I guess God just thought his time had come.
And then came October 31 when, in the cruelest twist of fate of all, my oldest brother, Roy, died at the age of 55 of a sudden heart attack.
Many lessons were learned from Roy's death and I cautiously believe that my brothers and I listened to those lessons. We seem to have abandoned the idea that we should hate each other. However, my sister Gabby continues to be a lost cause that I have no desire to pursue. My sister, Thairn, and I came together for Roy but, as soon as everyone left and she had the opportunity to attack, she came at me with both barrels. The difference was that, this time, I expected it and I didn't let her hurt me. It's just sad that she felt the need to try.
In November, the world lost one of the funniest men to ever live. Leslie Nielsen died on November 28. And now, 3 days into December, one of the most beloved men ever to wear a Chicago Cubs uniform died of bladder cancer at age 70. Rest in peace Ron Santo.
I know this blog is a bit depressing but I am sure you agree that it would be hard to find the positive in all of these events of a single year. That's not to say that 2010 hasn't had SOME bright points. My great-nephews Collin and Bryce were born and we learned that Baby Fisher and Baby Yakey are forthcoming. And I did get to see Roy only 11 days before his death...a visit for which I will always be thankful. But I think it is safe to say that I am ready for 2010 to end. 2010, according to the Chinese, was the year of the tiger. I have always loved tigers. I had one tattooed on my ankle 17 years ago. But apparently they don't like me. 2011 is the year of the rabbit. Maybe I will have better luck with bunnies...
In February, my uncle Fritz (mom's brother) passed away in Germany from complications of a blood clot.
In June, Jennifer moved out and informed me that she intends to allow foreclosure of the house and, therefore, the sanctuary. All of my kids need to be rehomed and I have no idea where I am going to live with 20+ cats (if I get the number down to that) and 7 dogs.
In July I began working as a Veterinary Assistant at B & R Veterinary Clinic in DeForest. That turned out to be one of the biggest mistakes of my life. The woman should not be allowed to call herself a vet. So, here I am unemployed again. Also in July, my beloved Ozzie lost his 7 year battle with diabetes and died in my arms.
August didn't get any better. My cousin Gerhard passed away at age 61 from lung cancer and my cherished 12 year old persian, Tucker, died of kidney failure.
In September, my sweet Ace man died at the foot of my bed without any warning. I guess God just thought his time had come.
And then came October 31 when, in the cruelest twist of fate of all, my oldest brother, Roy, died at the age of 55 of a sudden heart attack.
Many lessons were learned from Roy's death and I cautiously believe that my brothers and I listened to those lessons. We seem to have abandoned the idea that we should hate each other. However, my sister Gabby continues to be a lost cause that I have no desire to pursue. My sister, Thairn, and I came together for Roy but, as soon as everyone left and she had the opportunity to attack, she came at me with both barrels. The difference was that, this time, I expected it and I didn't let her hurt me. It's just sad that she felt the need to try.
In November, the world lost one of the funniest men to ever live. Leslie Nielsen died on November 28. And now, 3 days into December, one of the most beloved men ever to wear a Chicago Cubs uniform died of bladder cancer at age 70. Rest in peace Ron Santo.
I know this blog is a bit depressing but I am sure you agree that it would be hard to find the positive in all of these events of a single year. That's not to say that 2010 hasn't had SOME bright points. My great-nephews Collin and Bryce were born and we learned that Baby Fisher and Baby Yakey are forthcoming. And I did get to see Roy only 11 days before his death...a visit for which I will always be thankful. But I think it is safe to say that I am ready for 2010 to end. 2010, according to the Chinese, was the year of the tiger. I have always loved tigers. I had one tattooed on my ankle 17 years ago. But apparently they don't like me. 2011 is the year of the rabbit. Maybe I will have better luck with bunnies...
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Top Ten Things I Have Learned on My Diet So Far
Well, it has been 2 weeks since I started this journey. I am down 10 pounds, which is just amazing to me. Here are the top 10 things I have learned so far...
10. Salad doesn't have to be gross. Iceberg lettuce is so...yesterday's news. Spinach makes all the difference.
9. Mountain Dew isn't worth dying for. Diet Cherry Pepsi is the bomb.
8. Pizza once in awhile is not a bad thing. Satisfying a craving is important to stopping the desire to go overboard. Just make healthier choices...veggies instead of pepperoni, whole wheat crust, etc.
7. Whole wheat tortillas aren't bad for tacos.
6. Working out on a regular basis is crucial. If too much time passes between workouts, you are starting over at square one on difficulty.
5. Eat until you are satisfied, not until you are stuffed.
4. Boredom is the enemy...then you eat for no reason.
3. Fat free sour cream is edible if you don't think about it.
2. I don't have to be in a hurry to get the weight off. I will be healthier if I take my time. It will happen.
1. I have the best friends and support system in the world.
10. Salad doesn't have to be gross. Iceberg lettuce is so...yesterday's news. Spinach makes all the difference.
9. Mountain Dew isn't worth dying for. Diet Cherry Pepsi is the bomb.
8. Pizza once in awhile is not a bad thing. Satisfying a craving is important to stopping the desire to go overboard. Just make healthier choices...veggies instead of pepperoni, whole wheat crust, etc.
7. Whole wheat tortillas aren't bad for tacos.
6. Working out on a regular basis is crucial. If too much time passes between workouts, you are starting over at square one on difficulty.
5. Eat until you are satisfied, not until you are stuffed.
4. Boredom is the enemy...then you eat for no reason.
3. Fat free sour cream is edible if you don't think about it.
2. I don't have to be in a hurry to get the weight off. I will be healthier if I take my time. It will happen.
1. I have the best friends and support system in the world.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Cats Diseases and The Truth About Animal Shelters
A friend called me this morning with a dilemma. She has a new kitten, about 6 months old, who has tested positive for FIV (Feline Immunodeficiency Virus). She was seeking my advice and some education on what to do for the cat and had many questions regarding his expected lifespan and quality of life. We talked for quite awhile and it has inspired my blog for the day (Thanks Terri ;-)
First of all, I want you all to know that there are only 3 things you can catch from your cat. First is rabies. Because of vaccination protocols, the last time a human being in the United States contracted rabies from a cat was in 1970...40 years ago. So vaccinate your cats and forget about ever getting rabies. You are way more likely to contract it from a bat, a raccoon or a fox than a cat.
Secondly, is toxoplasmosis. Toxo is the reason that pregnant women should not clean litter boxes and it is specific only to cats. No other animal on the planet can foster toxoplasmosis. Toxo is a parasitic infection that most cats carry but rarely show symptoms. Other immuno-suppressive conditions may bring out the Toxoplasmosis, but cats otherwise carry it and we never know it. It is not transmissible through touching, licking, biting or scratching so owning a cat does not mean you are exposed to Toxoplasmosis. In fact, you are more likely to contract Toxo by eating undercooked meat, drinking unpasteurized milk or eating unwashed vegetables than you are from owning a cat. If you are pregnant or otherwise immuno-compromised (ex. have AIDS or are undergoing chemotherapy), have someone else clean your cat's litter box. Problem solved.
The third thing you can get from your cat is ringworm. Ringworm is NOT A WORM! It is a fungus, very much like athlete's foot. In fact, it is treated with the same cream (Lotrimin and the like). If you get it (and again you are more likely if you are immuno-suppressed) it will itch and drive you nuts, but it is benign and will go away. Think of it like a big mosquito bite. If your cat has ringworm, wash your hands thoroughly after handing him/her. Wash bedding thoroughly and often and you should be fine. If you get ringworm from your cat, don't panic. Just deal with it and get through it.
Now, let's talk about The Big Three: Feline Leukemia (FeLV), Feline Immunodeficiency Virus (FIV) and Feline Infectious Peritonitis (FIP). Let me start by talking about animal shelters and rescues and the concept of "no-kill." The general public thinks that "no-kill" actually means that these facilities do not euthanize animals. WRONG!!! All it means it that the facility does not euthanize FOR SPACE. In other words, they cannot euthanize because they have too many animals. However, they CAN euthanize for 1) behavioral issues and 2) medical issues and still call themselves "no-kill." This concept is exactly the reason that I no longer sit on the board of directors for the humane society. I should have been clued in when, in my first board meeting, the shelter director asked how I felt about euthanasia. I should have walked out the door right then and there. But, we live and we learn. Anyway, "behavioral issues" are your bite cases and feral cats. Feral cats are deemed "unadoptable" and a "danger to the staff" and are euthanized. Yes, you heard me right. They take a WILD animal, stick it in a cage in an unfamiliar environment, trapped in a place it has never been in before and then, after a 7 day waiting period, they kill it because it is "scary" and "dangerous." Worse, they give it a name like "Shredder" or "Evil" and laugh about it. Even if the cat was adoptable, I don't know many people that would adopt a cat named "Evil."
Medical issues is a broad category and they want it to be. It allows euthanasia without violation of the "no-kill" image. Think about it...they can't euthanize for space so they HAVE to find a reason or they will be grossly overpopulated. The concept of "no-kill" is nothing more than a political term designed to make people feel better about surrendering their animals and to make the people who work there receive kudos they don't necessarily deserve. That is not to say that there aren't good people working there. A lot of what they do is difficult and they deserve respect for those issues. I am just saying that the shelters as a whole are projecting false images of what they do, sugar-coating things to make people feel better. People pat them on the back for being "humane" and "no-kill" when the reality is that they are killing animals (especially cats in the case of Columbia and Sauk Counties) right and left. I have sat in the monthly meetings and heard the shelter director laugh as she reads the monthly euthanasia report. It's sickening. And I don't know of a single humane society that doesn't euthanize for FeLV and FIV, even though the cat's life expectancy is not necessarily affected by these viruses. If the shelter is overcrowded and a cat tests positive for FeLV, it's "luck" for the shelter because they now have an excuse to euthanize and feel they can justify it because it is not about space. It's one less cat to deal with and it makes me insanely angry. Shelters that look for excuses and reasons to euthanize cats should not be allowed to call themselves "no-kill." And guess what folks...they also euthanize for RINGWORM...a curable, benign fungal infection. Yes, they are killing cats for athlete's foot. Remember, it's a "medical issue" that is transmissible to humans. It is so much easier for them to kill the cat than to deal with the infection.
Ok, so let's look at Feline Leukemia. Unlike in humans, FeLV is a virus, not a cancer. Yes, it is transmissible from cat to cat. It is NOT transmissible to humans or dogs or other animals. Remember, it is FELINE leukemia. It can be transmitted through bodily fluids, including saliva, urine, feces, semen, etc. However, it is NOT as highly transmissible as shelters want you to believe. (Again, remember they want you to think it is a horrible disease that renders the cat unhealthy and, therefore, justifies euthanasia.) The truth is that a cat with FeLV can live a very long and prductive life without ever being sick. Yes, it makes the cat more susceptible to illnesses and infections, but it doesn't have to mean death. If you have a cat that tests positive for FeLV, I recommend the following:
1) Keep the cat indoors at all times.
2) Make the cat the only cat in the house, unless the other cats are also FeLV positive.
3) Consult your vet about vitamin supplements and immuno-boosting treatments to keep your cat healthy.
FIV - Feline Immunodefficiency Virus. This is the equivalent of HIV in humans and, again, is specific to cats. As with humans and HIV, cats can live a very long and productive life without ever being "sick" from this virus. And, unlike FeLV, FIV is transmitted only through deep, penetrating bite wounds. So, when the question arises as to whether or not your FIV+ cat can safely live with other cats, the answer is yes. As long as the cats don't fight, they are fine. And I don't mean playing. Remember, I am talking about deep, penetrating bite wounds. And even if that occurs, there is no guarantee that the virus has been transmitted. Your cats can peacefully co-exist without a problem. And again, just like with FeLV, the FIV virus will make your cat more susceptible to infections so I highly recommend keeping him/her indoors at all times. Also, consult your vet about vitamin supplements and immuno-boosting treatments.
FIP - Feline Infectious Peritonitis. I HATE this disease and it is easily the very last thing I ever want to hear the vet say. You see, FIP is 100% fatal and there is no treatment. It comes in two forms, wet and dry. In the wet form, the cat's chest cavity fills with fluid and basically squeezes off the heart and lungs. Your cat will have profound difficulty breathing. You can drain the fluid, but it will come right back. The most humane thing you can do for the cat is euthanize and end its suffering. In the dry form, the cat may have a wide variety of symptoms, from weight loss to ataxia (difficulty walking) to seizures. Often FIP is the diagnosis for lack of a different diagnosis. Again, the most humane thing you can do is euthanize.
Here is the thing about FIP. It is a coronavirus. There are literally more than 300 coronaviruses in the environment and only one of them carries the FIP strain. If your cat has ever set a single toe outdoors or has ever been exposed to another cat, chances are he/she has been exposed to one of the 300+ coronaviruses. And if, by chance, it is the FIP strain, there is no guarantee your cat will ever get sick. If your vet suggests testing the cat for FIP, DO NOT WASTE YOUR MONEY! There is NO DEFINITIVE TEST FOR FIP. The test that they run will only tell you that the cat has been exposed to one of the 300+ coronaviruses. It will not tell you for sure that it is the FIP strain. If the cat is not deathly ill and in need of immediate euthanasia, the only thing you can do is treat the symptoms. If the cat gets better, you are not dealing with FIP and should keep doing what you are doing. If the cat continues to get sick, it is most likely FIP and you should end its suffering humanely.
I am getting off my cat-care soapbox now with two final pieces of advice. First and foremost, ALWAYS work in conjunction with your veterinarian on any health issues involving your cat. Secondly, DO NOT GIVE COW'S MILK TO YOUR CAT. CATS ARE LACTOSE INTOLERANT. 'Nuff said.
First of all, I want you all to know that there are only 3 things you can catch from your cat. First is rabies. Because of vaccination protocols, the last time a human being in the United States contracted rabies from a cat was in 1970...40 years ago. So vaccinate your cats and forget about ever getting rabies. You are way more likely to contract it from a bat, a raccoon or a fox than a cat.
Secondly, is toxoplasmosis. Toxo is the reason that pregnant women should not clean litter boxes and it is specific only to cats. No other animal on the planet can foster toxoplasmosis. Toxo is a parasitic infection that most cats carry but rarely show symptoms. Other immuno-suppressive conditions may bring out the Toxoplasmosis, but cats otherwise carry it and we never know it. It is not transmissible through touching, licking, biting or scratching so owning a cat does not mean you are exposed to Toxoplasmosis. In fact, you are more likely to contract Toxo by eating undercooked meat, drinking unpasteurized milk or eating unwashed vegetables than you are from owning a cat. If you are pregnant or otherwise immuno-compromised (ex. have AIDS or are undergoing chemotherapy), have someone else clean your cat's litter box. Problem solved.
The third thing you can get from your cat is ringworm. Ringworm is NOT A WORM! It is a fungus, very much like athlete's foot. In fact, it is treated with the same cream (Lotrimin and the like). If you get it (and again you are more likely if you are immuno-suppressed) it will itch and drive you nuts, but it is benign and will go away. Think of it like a big mosquito bite. If your cat has ringworm, wash your hands thoroughly after handing him/her. Wash bedding thoroughly and often and you should be fine. If you get ringworm from your cat, don't panic. Just deal with it and get through it.
Now, let's talk about The Big Three: Feline Leukemia (FeLV), Feline Immunodeficiency Virus (FIV) and Feline Infectious Peritonitis (FIP). Let me start by talking about animal shelters and rescues and the concept of "no-kill." The general public thinks that "no-kill" actually means that these facilities do not euthanize animals. WRONG!!! All it means it that the facility does not euthanize FOR SPACE. In other words, they cannot euthanize because they have too many animals. However, they CAN euthanize for 1) behavioral issues and 2) medical issues and still call themselves "no-kill." This concept is exactly the reason that I no longer sit on the board of directors for the humane society. I should have been clued in when, in my first board meeting, the shelter director asked how I felt about euthanasia. I should have walked out the door right then and there. But, we live and we learn. Anyway, "behavioral issues" are your bite cases and feral cats. Feral cats are deemed "unadoptable" and a "danger to the staff" and are euthanized. Yes, you heard me right. They take a WILD animal, stick it in a cage in an unfamiliar environment, trapped in a place it has never been in before and then, after a 7 day waiting period, they kill it because it is "scary" and "dangerous." Worse, they give it a name like "Shredder" or "Evil" and laugh about it. Even if the cat was adoptable, I don't know many people that would adopt a cat named "Evil."
Medical issues is a broad category and they want it to be. It allows euthanasia without violation of the "no-kill" image. Think about it...they can't euthanize for space so they HAVE to find a reason or they will be grossly overpopulated. The concept of "no-kill" is nothing more than a political term designed to make people feel better about surrendering their animals and to make the people who work there receive kudos they don't necessarily deserve. That is not to say that there aren't good people working there. A lot of what they do is difficult and they deserve respect for those issues. I am just saying that the shelters as a whole are projecting false images of what they do, sugar-coating things to make people feel better. People pat them on the back for being "humane" and "no-kill" when the reality is that they are killing animals (especially cats in the case of Columbia and Sauk Counties) right and left. I have sat in the monthly meetings and heard the shelter director laugh as she reads the monthly euthanasia report. It's sickening. And I don't know of a single humane society that doesn't euthanize for FeLV and FIV, even though the cat's life expectancy is not necessarily affected by these viruses. If the shelter is overcrowded and a cat tests positive for FeLV, it's "luck" for the shelter because they now have an excuse to euthanize and feel they can justify it because it is not about space. It's one less cat to deal with and it makes me insanely angry. Shelters that look for excuses and reasons to euthanize cats should not be allowed to call themselves "no-kill." And guess what folks...they also euthanize for RINGWORM...a curable, benign fungal infection. Yes, they are killing cats for athlete's foot. Remember, it's a "medical issue" that is transmissible to humans. It is so much easier for them to kill the cat than to deal with the infection.
Ok, so let's look at Feline Leukemia. Unlike in humans, FeLV is a virus, not a cancer. Yes, it is transmissible from cat to cat. It is NOT transmissible to humans or dogs or other animals. Remember, it is FELINE leukemia. It can be transmitted through bodily fluids, including saliva, urine, feces, semen, etc. However, it is NOT as highly transmissible as shelters want you to believe. (Again, remember they want you to think it is a horrible disease that renders the cat unhealthy and, therefore, justifies euthanasia.) The truth is that a cat with FeLV can live a very long and prductive life without ever being sick. Yes, it makes the cat more susceptible to illnesses and infections, but it doesn't have to mean death. If you have a cat that tests positive for FeLV, I recommend the following:
1) Keep the cat indoors at all times.
2) Make the cat the only cat in the house, unless the other cats are also FeLV positive.
3) Consult your vet about vitamin supplements and immuno-boosting treatments to keep your cat healthy.
FIV - Feline Immunodefficiency Virus. This is the equivalent of HIV in humans and, again, is specific to cats. As with humans and HIV, cats can live a very long and productive life without ever being "sick" from this virus. And, unlike FeLV, FIV is transmitted only through deep, penetrating bite wounds. So, when the question arises as to whether or not your FIV+ cat can safely live with other cats, the answer is yes. As long as the cats don't fight, they are fine. And I don't mean playing. Remember, I am talking about deep, penetrating bite wounds. And even if that occurs, there is no guarantee that the virus has been transmitted. Your cats can peacefully co-exist without a problem. And again, just like with FeLV, the FIV virus will make your cat more susceptible to infections so I highly recommend keeping him/her indoors at all times. Also, consult your vet about vitamin supplements and immuno-boosting treatments.
FIP - Feline Infectious Peritonitis. I HATE this disease and it is easily the very last thing I ever want to hear the vet say. You see, FIP is 100% fatal and there is no treatment. It comes in two forms, wet and dry. In the wet form, the cat's chest cavity fills with fluid and basically squeezes off the heart and lungs. Your cat will have profound difficulty breathing. You can drain the fluid, but it will come right back. The most humane thing you can do for the cat is euthanize and end its suffering. In the dry form, the cat may have a wide variety of symptoms, from weight loss to ataxia (difficulty walking) to seizures. Often FIP is the diagnosis for lack of a different diagnosis. Again, the most humane thing you can do is euthanize.
Here is the thing about FIP. It is a coronavirus. There are literally more than 300 coronaviruses in the environment and only one of them carries the FIP strain. If your cat has ever set a single toe outdoors or has ever been exposed to another cat, chances are he/she has been exposed to one of the 300+ coronaviruses. And if, by chance, it is the FIP strain, there is no guarantee your cat will ever get sick. If your vet suggests testing the cat for FIP, DO NOT WASTE YOUR MONEY! There is NO DEFINITIVE TEST FOR FIP. The test that they run will only tell you that the cat has been exposed to one of the 300+ coronaviruses. It will not tell you for sure that it is the FIP strain. If the cat is not deathly ill and in need of immediate euthanasia, the only thing you can do is treat the symptoms. If the cat gets better, you are not dealing with FIP and should keep doing what you are doing. If the cat continues to get sick, it is most likely FIP and you should end its suffering humanely.
I am getting off my cat-care soapbox now with two final pieces of advice. First and foremost, ALWAYS work in conjunction with your veterinarian on any health issues involving your cat. Secondly, DO NOT GIVE COW'S MILK TO YOUR CAT. CATS ARE LACTOSE INTOLERANT. 'Nuff said.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Optimism
The last thing I want to do is turn my blog into a diet diary. So, although I may mention my progress (or lack thereof), please don't think that is what this blog will be all about. However, it is most consuming in these first few days and has me thinking about optimism. I have a reserved sort of optimism about this whole diet thing. I think I have just failed so many times that it is hard to get my hopes up. But yesterday was ok and I think that going "public" with my struggle is going to be a good thing. I got a lot of good advice yesterday and a lot of loving support and I am very grateful. I managed to get through the day with only 1/2 can of Mountain Dew, a small bowl of whole grain oatmeal in the morning with my one cup of coffee and fish with green beans for dinner. Now I realize that 1/2 can of Mountain Dew still isn't good. But I'm trying. Let me put yesterday in perspective for all of us. Normally, for breakfast, I would eat at least 2 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on white bread with 2 cups of coffee (with cream and Splenda). For lunch I would eat whatever was in the fridge, usually a couple sandwiches (again on white bread) with 2 cans of Mountain Dew. Dinner 90% of the time is pizza with another 2-3 cans of Mountain Dew followed by dessert. The latest was Ben & Jerry's pumpkin cheesecake ice cream. (It's gross BTW). And then add in all the crap I eat between meals. I don't think I have ever gone to Kwik Trip without picking up a candy bar and, yes, a Mountain Dew. So 1/2 can of Mountain Dew is an ENORMOUS stride for me and I am proud of myself for it. I also asked Nikayla not to get Mountain Dew to accompany Thanksgiving dinner. I have to do better with that and I have decided that it is all about the baby steps. I know myself well enough to know that if I drop Mountain Dew cold turkey (no Thanksgiving pun intended), I will fall right off the wagon and drink a 6 pack in one sitting. So for now I have to be ok with 1/2 can a day. There aren't many things that I feel like I need to allow myself in order for this to work. I can give up sweets and pizza and chocolate. That's no problem. But I am an addict when it comes to Mountain Dew and I need to treat it like an addiction. And unless there is an in-patient treatment facility for Mountain Dew addiction, I have to give myself a little breathing room to do things the right way. It's not an excuse to have 1/2 can of Mountain Dew a day. It's being realistic and smart.
So far today I have had my coffee and my whole grain oatmeal. I feel pretty good and I will be looking into joining a gym later this afternoon. As usual, my knees and back are of the highest concern for me, but I know there are things I can do to compensate for that. Albeit cautious, I am optimistic. Stay tuned...
So far today I have had my coffee and my whole grain oatmeal. I feel pretty good and I will be looking into joining a gym later this afternoon. As usual, my knees and back are of the highest concern for me, but I know there are things I can do to compensate for that. Albeit cautious, I am optimistic. Stay tuned...
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Look at The Fat Girl
I am 39 years old and I have been "heavy" my whole life. You can call it what it is and avoid all the happy, supposedly less painful euphamisms like "big boned" or "overweight". Call it what it is...fat. I currently weigh 220 pounds as of this morning. That is officially my heaviest weight ever. I have tried just about every diet known to man and the only one that ever worked was the Atkins Diet. However, as an advocate for animals, I find it very difficult to sustain a diet of almost entirely meat and cheese. And I can't imagine what it does to my cholesterol level. So, that's out. Recently, my sister-in-law, Mickie, lost weight. She looks fantastic and you can tell in speaking with her for 5 minutes that she feels better too. I want that.
The other day I had my niece, Nikayla, feel my knee as I bent it. She is a student of physical therapy and is well schooled on kinesiology and the way knees are supposed to work. Mine clicked and ground and popped as I flexed and extended the joint. I didn't have to look at Nikayla's face to know it wasn't a good thing. I have stopped using the stairs in favor of the elevator because it is getting too painful. Nik said that my patella, or knee cap, is not in the patellar groove where it is supposed to be...on either knee. When I jokingly said that I expect to have double knee replacements before I am 50, she didn't disagree and my joke suddenly wasn't funny. When the clicking and popping of my knees lessened when I sat down and flexed the joint, it became painfully clear that a lot of the problem is the weight my knees are asked to support.
In 1995, my mother was diagnosed with emphysema. She was told to quit smoking or she would die. She quit and she is still here 15 years later. In 2002, my father was diagnosed with pretty severe coronary artery disease. He was told that they would not do open heart surgery to correct the problem as long as he refused to quit smoking because they felt he did not stand a meaningful chance of recovery as long as he was smoking. Dad still refused and he died in 2003. Recently, my oldest brother, Roy, died of a heart attack at age 55. He had high cholesterol and high blood pressure and, surely, his doctors told him to quit smoking. He didn't. I don't know if that would have made a difference, but there may be a chance he would still be here if he could have given up that vice.
So here is the deal. I don't want to die young and I don't want to have my knees replaced. I don't want to live in a wheelchair because my knees can't handle my weight. I don't want to be incapacitated and unable to walk my dogs. So, it is time to lose some weight. My goal is 75 pounds, which would get me down to a respectable 145.
Normally, I am very private about my efforts to lose weight. I hate being open about it because I feel like everyone is looking at me, watching my failure time after time after time. I feel like everyone is pointing and laughing and saying, "Look at the fat girl." I pride myself in completing tasks and being successful in things that I do. Weight loss has been the greatest struggle and most tremendous failure of my life. So, I have decided that it is time to get people involved. Maybe I need the pressure of being watched by people that care. Maybe I need the pressure of being questioned about how much I have lost or gained. Maybe I just need to be in a position to prove myself to others. So consider this your official invitation to look at the fat girl. Watch me get thinner before your very eyes. I know I can do this. Food is my vice and I know the biggest obstacles that I face will be mental and emotional ones, not physical ones. But if I don't do this NOW, I will soon be faced with physical obstacles as well. I have to help my knees before it is too late. The warning signs are there and I need to follow my mom's example and listen to them.
So today begins a journey. Today is the first day of what I know will be the longest, most difficult year of my personal life but it has to be done. Fasten your seatbelt...
The other day I had my niece, Nikayla, feel my knee as I bent it. She is a student of physical therapy and is well schooled on kinesiology and the way knees are supposed to work. Mine clicked and ground and popped as I flexed and extended the joint. I didn't have to look at Nikayla's face to know it wasn't a good thing. I have stopped using the stairs in favor of the elevator because it is getting too painful. Nik said that my patella, or knee cap, is not in the patellar groove where it is supposed to be...on either knee. When I jokingly said that I expect to have double knee replacements before I am 50, she didn't disagree and my joke suddenly wasn't funny. When the clicking and popping of my knees lessened when I sat down and flexed the joint, it became painfully clear that a lot of the problem is the weight my knees are asked to support.
In 1995, my mother was diagnosed with emphysema. She was told to quit smoking or she would die. She quit and she is still here 15 years later. In 2002, my father was diagnosed with pretty severe coronary artery disease. He was told that they would not do open heart surgery to correct the problem as long as he refused to quit smoking because they felt he did not stand a meaningful chance of recovery as long as he was smoking. Dad still refused and he died in 2003. Recently, my oldest brother, Roy, died of a heart attack at age 55. He had high cholesterol and high blood pressure and, surely, his doctors told him to quit smoking. He didn't. I don't know if that would have made a difference, but there may be a chance he would still be here if he could have given up that vice.
So here is the deal. I don't want to die young and I don't want to have my knees replaced. I don't want to live in a wheelchair because my knees can't handle my weight. I don't want to be incapacitated and unable to walk my dogs. So, it is time to lose some weight. My goal is 75 pounds, which would get me down to a respectable 145.
Normally, I am very private about my efforts to lose weight. I hate being open about it because I feel like everyone is looking at me, watching my failure time after time after time. I feel like everyone is pointing and laughing and saying, "Look at the fat girl." I pride myself in completing tasks and being successful in things that I do. Weight loss has been the greatest struggle and most tremendous failure of my life. So, I have decided that it is time to get people involved. Maybe I need the pressure of being watched by people that care. Maybe I need the pressure of being questioned about how much I have lost or gained. Maybe I just need to be in a position to prove myself to others. So consider this your official invitation to look at the fat girl. Watch me get thinner before your very eyes. I know I can do this. Food is my vice and I know the biggest obstacles that I face will be mental and emotional ones, not physical ones. But if I don't do this NOW, I will soon be faced with physical obstacles as well. I have to help my knees before it is too late. The warning signs are there and I need to follow my mom's example and listen to them.
So today begins a journey. Today is the first day of what I know will be the longest, most difficult year of my personal life but it has to be done. Fasten your seatbelt...
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