Lisa, Beautiful Nieces and Kidneys

Lisa has been me best friend for over 25 years. We met in high school and the connection between us has never truly waivered. As I recall, in 25 years, we have argued twice to the point of not speaking..and the subjects of those arguments are not even important enough for me to remember. Lisa and I have a lot in common. One big thing is that we both have nieces that we love and adore. Mine is Nikayla, who is 20 and lives in LaCrosse. Lisa's niece Randa is 21 and expecting her first child. The difference? Randa doesn't talk to Lisa. I would love to explain this and give you all of the sordid details of the rift that has wedged itself between my friend and the niece she loves like a daughter. But, I can't. You see, there is no explanation. Randa has fallen victim to influence from other people who formed opinions based on their own hang-ups and inablilities to let people live their own lives.

In October, 2009, Lisa was diagnosed with end-stage kidney disease. She needs a transplant or she will die. In the last 10 months, I have seen my friend go through painful procedure after painful procedure. She has endured infections and surgeries. She has scheduled her entire life around dialysis three times a week, all in an effort to stick around and watch her son, Joshua, grow to be a good and decent man. And where is Randa in all of this? She claims she is "not ready" to "forgive" Lisa. FORGIVE HER FOR WHAT? For always being there? For loving her? I know that Lisa would never say a cross word to Randa, but I have never made that promise. So, you selfish little brat, sit down, shut up and listen...

RANDA! Your Auntie Lisa loves you more than you could ever imagine and she needs you right now. Life is way too short to worry about trivial crap that means absolutely nothing in the long run. You need to take a good hard look at yourself and ask yourself, if Lisa died tomorrow would you really be ok with never having spoken to her? Death is final and you will never get a second chance if you wait too long to talk to her. SHE LOVES YOU. She just wants to know that you are doing ok. She wants to be able to send you gifts for the baby and give you advice as you enter motherhood. She just wants you to email her some pictures of the baby and say, "Hi Auntie!' PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS LITTLE GIRL! Life is too short and too precious for your bullshit. If you were my niece, I'd knock some sense right into you. Lisa has never hurt you. She would NEVER hurt you. Stop being a whiney little victim of NOTHING and CALL HER. Whatever you think she has done to you, you are punishing both of you. Let it go. Joshua Liebman once said, "We achieve inner health only through forgiveness - the forgiveness not only of other but of ourselves." Forgive Lisa. Forgive yourself. See what happens. I know Lisa already forgives you.