Closing the Sanctuary and Retiring from Rescue

It is with tremendous sadness that I use my blog today to announce the closing of the Worthy Paws sanctuary and my decision to retire from animal rescue. This may come as a shock to some of you and I apologize if you feel blindsided. And I have to admit that I am feeling very very selfish right now. But the bottom line is that I just don't think I can do it anymore. The feeling of being overwhelmed used to only exist once in awhile. However, since my roommate, Jennifer, moved out last month, that feeling of being overwhelmed never goes away. Jennifer's intention is to allow foreclosure on the house, leaving me and all of the animals without a place to live. And I have just come to realize that, no matter how much my heart wants to help every animal I possibly can, I am but one person with limited abilities. The biggest factor is that the issues never end. Now, I am not saying that I am surprised by that. When you care for 100 abandoned, abused and neglected animals, you have to expect problems. But the outstanding vet bill of over $6000 at one clinic, $800+ at another clinic and $400+ at another clinic have just gotten to be overwhelming. I used to occasionally remember what it was like to have my apartment in Portage...when I had 3 cats and worked full time at Staples. It was an easier time but I knew something was missing. So I took 6 years of my life and I gave it to the animals. In the course of those 6 years, I have suffered the loss of most of my family because they didn't agree with what I was doing. They just didn't get it. And although it was hard, I am thankful for that time because it taught me a lesson in the kind of person I want to be. I don't want to be like them and to sit in judgement of others. But there are moments when, selfishly, I long for the simpler times. I envy those people who can get up in the morning, enjoy their coffee, go to work, come home, make dinner, watch tv and go to bed at a decent hour. Please don't misunderstand me. I do NOT regret the last 6 years. I made the life and death difference in the lives of hundreds of animals. I wasn't always perfect and I made some huge mistakes, but I do go to bed every night feeling like I did my best for them. I hope they think so too. But a time has come when I don't feel like I can continue to give them the best of me....I can't continue to give them what they deserve. When I woke up this morning to Tucker throwing up, Joey's left eye swollen shut, Charlie limping, Maxie's back leg swollen and Sancho having another bout of his chronic diarrhea and absolutely no money to tend to them with, I just felt like that overwhelming feeling was going to take over permanently. Make no mistake, they got the care they needed, but it absorbed the largest part of my day. Add into that that they need to be fed and their water needs to be changed and their litter boxes need to be cleaned and the dogs need exercise and the entire day is gone before I can blink. I am one person and I just don't know how I can do this anymore. From the deepest part of my being, I am so so sorry for letting everyone down.

I do not intend to "get rid of" all the animals. I hate that phrase. Adoption procedures will be followed and no animal will be given to a home that has not been thoroughly examined. It's just that I will be seeking adoptions more aggressively, through many more outlets, than before. Let me also be clear that the dogs are NOT available for adoption. My intention is to keep all 7 of the dogs and approximately 20 of the cats. I will also be looking for a place to live with them, so if anyone out there knows of a place I can rent where I can have 7 dogs, 20 cats and possibly a house trained pot bellied pig, please let me know. I know it is a tall order.

Please forgive me for my shortcomings and know that I am not blind to them. I will never completely separate myself from animal rescue. I can't. It's in my blood and it is part of who I am. But right now my role has to become one of helping to place animals into good, loving homes or finding a reputable rescue to help them. It just can't be as hands-on as it has been. I am physically and emotionally spent. I have never been a quitter and I hope and pray that is not what you all think of me. God bless you all and thank you for your understanding. If you hear of anyone looking to adopt a cat, please let me know. All cats are spayed/neutered and vaccinated. I will waive adoption fees to good, loving homes. Thank you.