Final Wishes Revisited

Today is November 11, 2011...11/11/11.  I am updating this post.

On a previous post, not too long ago on this very blog, I spoke of my final wishes. It was sort of a tongue-in-cheek look at things, although I meant what I said about scattering part of my ashes at Wrigley Field. But, in light of the recent and completely unexpected death of my brother Roy at the young age of 55, I would like to, in all seriousness, revisit this issue. The questions of: "What did Roy want?" haunt all of us now in retrospect and I am not willing to let this fall on my loved ones if something happens to me. So sit back, fasten your seatbelt and listen up. So you have no questions, this is what I want...

1. The cats, by and large, can go to no-kill rescues. I do NOT want them shipped off to the humane society where a majority of them will be euthanized. That is not what I have worked all this time for and I swear that I will haunt anyone who makes the decision to send them there. Don't test me.

2. Alecs - Please find him a home where he will be loved and cared for. He is an old guy and I am the only one he has ever known. He needs special care. Please try to keep him in the family. Nikayla?

3. Sarge - She is my baby and will not do well at a rescue. Please find her a home, preferably within the family, but at least somewhere where she is the only cat and will get lots of attention.

4. Chance - He is a special boy who only loves me. He will need an understanding place where he is shown patience and lots and lots of love. Again, family is ideal.  Chance has a benign growth on the right side of his neck.  It's nothing, but it has to be drained once in awhile.  Just stick it with a needle.

5. Libby - She fancies herself feral but she isn't. She just can't be picked up. Please find her a home where she can live indoors in peace where her family doesn't care that she doesn't cuddle.

6.  Spirit - Please call Barb Ulrich (her number is in my phone) and ask her to help with Spirit.  Spirit has seizures and it is critical that she have her Phenobarbitol on time.  Dr. Gerber calls the prescrition in to Wilz Drug.  She gets 1/2 tablet twice a day around 8am and 8pm.

7. My dogs: FIRST AND FOREMOST, YOU MUST NOT MIX THE DOGS!!! WRIGLEY, HARRY & DAWSON ARE OK TOGETHER. BARNEY, CHARLIE, TUCKER AND GRETCHEN ARE OK TOGETHER. DO NOT MIX THEM ANY OTHER WAY OR THERE WILL BE A FIGHT TO THE DEATH.

Please get Barb Ulrich involved in rehoming the dogs. She is a busy lady but she is the BEST. She will help in any way she can, especially with the beagle.

Please, please, please do not separate Wrigley, Harry and Dawson. They were born together and raised together and they need to stay together. It is a tall order but it is essential to their survival. They don't know how to function without each other. Again, DO NOT take them to the humane society or I swear to God I will haunt you...and it won't be pleasant. Make sure that whomever takes them knows not to feed them together in an enclosed space. There has to be a minimum of 8 feet between Dawson and Harry or they will fight. Set Dawson's bowl down first, then Wrigley and then Harry's. Harry may not eat unless you sing, "Harry Baby" to the tune of "Sherry Baby" gently to him first.

Wrigley taught herself to fetch. When she jumps on you, she is just trying to give you the ball so her brothers can't get it. Be patient with that.

Dawson loves to swim and fetch his tennis ball in the water. He doesn't care much about it on land.

Harry has had both of his rear Anterior Cruciate Ligaments replaced and will probably have arthritis at some point in his life. Please be gentle with him and if there is any indication that something is wrong, please call Dr. David Gerber at 920-623-3366. He will know what to do.

Tucker - Call Jaime and see if she can take him back. Otherwise, please find him a good home with someone who has a lot of energy and plenty of tennis balls. He would do very well with another dog. He loves to swim and chase his tennis ball in the water. Tucker takes one tablet of Glycoflex II daily for joint support.

Barney - Barney needs to be an indoor dog and would do well being the only dog in the house. However, he could easily live with Charlie, Gretchen and/or Tucker. Barney had a rough life until I got him and doesn't have a lot of manners. He requires a lot of love and patience.

Charlie - The sweetest dog on the planet. Please find her a good, loving home with someone who understands beagles. And please ask them not to change her name. I finally got her to respond to it.

Gretchen - Robbie? She loves Uncle Robbie. If he can't take her, please find her a good home with a woman, preferably an older one. She is a cuddler and a very devoted dog once she gets to know you. The less commotion in her life, the better. KEEP GRETCHEN AWAY FROM CHILDREN.  She needs quiet.

Now, let's talk about my funeral.

1. I want to be cremated. If people want to see me first and say goodbye, I am ok with that. Just have me embalmed and displayed in a rental casket and then sent off for cremation.

2. I will have a life insurance policy through my employer beginning in January 2012.  Nikayla, I will make you the primary beneficiary.  Please use it to pay for my funeral and to help rehome the animals.  If there is anything left, use it for whatever you need. 
3. My obituary only needs to go in the Portage paper. No one else really knows me so don't spend the money. Please mention my work as an animal rescuer as a life accomplishment. It means a lot to me. Other information you may need for an obituary:

1989 graduate of Pardeeville High School
1993 graduate of University of Wisconsin - Platteville with a BA in Criminal Justice, Minor in Psychology
Emergency Medical Technician - Intermediate for 16 years. I worked (at various times throughout my career) in Pardeeville, Portage, Wisconsin Dells and Milwaukee.
Animal rescuer, particularly special needs and feral cats. I love all animals.

I would love it if you would mention my dogs, Wrigley, Harry, Dawson, Barney, Charlie, Tucker and Gretchen and my cats Alecs, Maggie, Sarge, Jackson, Joey, Chance, Libby, Nemo, Dory, Alice, Maverick, Isabel, Pipsy, Caesar, Niko, and Jupiter by name in my obituary. They are my children, just like anyone else's human children are theirs.
I was preceded in death by my cats Coley, Tucker, Ozzie, Riley, Emma, Maxie, Lottie, Bob, Mister, Goldie, Clint, and Murphy and my dogs, Sandy & Ben.

Now, as far as who gets what: I don't have very many tangible items but there are a few things I hold near and dear.

My Cubs hats and softball glove - Nikayla
My family history information and research - Adam
My Fenton shoe collection - Robbie
My car (if it is worth anything) - Robbie
My teddy bear that I got when I was 3 - Nikayla

I will add things as I think of them.

Finally, when all is said and done, I want my ashes to be mixed with those of my animals and then mixed into a litter box.  It seems most appropriate.  When the cats are done with me, just scoop out the poop and send me off with it.  I am completely serious about that.   I don't want anyone to be burdened with an urn full of Aunt Heidi sitting in their living room. I want to be free. Please refer to my previous blog post titled "Final Wishes."

I think I have everything covered. If not, I will update this post as things come to mind. Hopefully it won't be too late...you never know...  (Updated 11/11/11)

Ok, I thought of something else. Please do not allow either of my sisters to speak at my funeral. They were not nice to me during my life and attached conditions to their love. No matter how hard I tried, I never met those conditions. My funeral will not be a stage for them to pretend to have loved me and portray themselves as good people. It will not be a way for Gabby to make herself the center of attention, portraying herself as the loving, grieving sister so everyone will flock around her. (EYE ROLL!) They treated me like crap because they could not accept me for who I am. If they couldn't accept me in life, they should not have the opportunity to accept me in death. The thought of either of them standing up in front of a group of people who DID love me unconditionally and saying things that make it appear as if we were even remotely friends makes me gag. I would be perfectly happy if Gabby was her usual selfish self and boycotted my funeral. Goodbye and good riddens. If Thairn wants to attend to support Nikayla, that's fine. But she can stay in her seat and keep her mouth shut. Amen.

Oh, and regarding organ donation: If they can use it, give it to them. There are people out there like Lisa who have young children and are waiting for an organ to save their lives. If I can help them, please let me. I have spent my whole life helping people and now, because of Lisa, I know what it is like to be on the waiting side of things. My blood type is B+.