Saturday, February 6, 2010

Today is all about family and being a doormat. With everything that has been going on with the animals and the sheriff's department, the support from friends has been tremendous. I got an email today from someone I don't even know, offering her support. Amazing. However, my own siblings (and God help me there are 7 of them) have turned their backs. I am currently the subject of their emails amongst each other, I am sure. There is no acceptance for who I am. There is no love for me. There is no benefit of the doubt. There is only blame and crucifiction. And all because I don't walk the path THEY think I should walk. All because I march to the beat of my own drummer. You know, William Shakespeare once said, "This above all, to thine own self be true." Do I deserve this treatment because I am true to myself? I guess, in their eyes, I do. Well, for 5 years I have taken their punches to the head and I have said nothing. As of today I say NO MORE. I will not be a doormat anymore. I will fight back. I have done nothing wrong and time will prove that. I am angry...more angry than I think I have ever been. My animals and my love for them has no bearing on the lives of my siblings but they act as if I ask them to buy the food or litter. It's laughable. So, with renewed strength and self-worth I say goodbye to the past and to my membership in a family to which I no longer care to belong. I am a giant.

"You tried to hold us down.
You tried to hold us back.
You tried to make us wrong.
You tried to make us crack.

You wanted to see us cry.
You wanted to see us leave.
You didn't count on the tide.
You didn't count on the pride.
You didn't count on...me.

I am a giant
And you will not make me fall.
And you will not make me crawl.
I am a giant
And I am not alone
Winds of change have blown
And the walls come tumbling down.

And I have learned from my mistakes
Picked myself up off the floor
I have learned just what it takes
Now I am stronger than before

We are standing side by side
We are determined now to win
We have come too far
And we've got the scars
And we are never going back into the shadows again."

--Melissa Etheridge, "Giant"