Hi everyone,
It's been quite awhile since I have blogged. It's not that I haven't had anything to say (you all know how opinionated I can be). It's just that I haven't had time. Anyway, I wanted to take a minute today and say THANK YOU to everyone who has rallied around me in the worst times, when things seem impossible and the climb before me insurmountable. I want you all to know that I have a plan in place and I am very optimistic that things are going to get better. Stacy is hard at work helping me find a better paying job. That is step #1. I need to work 40 hours a week and actually have some money to show for it after the rent is paid. And I need to get off of night shift. I thought it would be best for the animals but it is not working at all. The dogs do not want to sleep all night while I am at work and then all day while I am home. FAIL. Then, I need to get the fencing up and get the animals better under control. The dogs need to be able to "let themselves out" and the cats need to be better contained for their safety. Then, I can begin to work on having some sort of "normalcy" in my life where perhaps I could even get some furniture and...oh yeah...electricity. Anyway, at some point I hope to enter into a rent-to-own contract with my landlord and secure the animals once and for all. But, that is all in good time. I am learning patience and, believe me, it is not easy. My entire plan could take years.
Anyway, last night, with having to miss work again and Mom needing care 24/7, I had a bit of a meltdown. As always, a lot of you were there to pick me up and remind me that I am not alone. But I noticed something about myself in this process. When you offered help, I IMMEDIATELY became uncomfortable. "No , no , no," I thought, "I don't want to inconvenience anyone." So I wanted, today, to take a minute to give you an explanation as to why sometimes I may inadvertently make it difficult for you to help with the animals and to let you know that, no matter how much I resist, I truly AM grateful to my core that you are there to help.
In 2004, when I began rescuing animals, I did so under the umbrella of the Columbia County Humane Society and in response to a petition before the Wisconsin DNR to allow the shooting of feral cats. Within a few months, it became painfully clear that the humane society was already spread too thin and I was very much alone in my crusade to rescue feral cats. Don't get me wrong, they are good people who do a lot of wonderful things for animals, but feral cats do not fit the typical image of what a humane society is all about. They depend on their animals to be adoptable. It's their main source of income that allows them to survive another day to rescue another homeless pet. That's just the way it works. So, I went out on my own. In doing so, I suffered the loss of many of my family members who have chosen, in some cases, not to be impartial (to be proud of me is WAY too much to even dream of) but to be downright vicious. Since that fateful day in 2005 when my sister went off the deep end over 4 little kittens, I have agonized over one question: "Why?" Every question I have begins with that word. And I have learned, however painfully, that I will never get answers. The one person who never sat in judgement of me (my oldest brother, Roy), passed away on October 31, 2010. Perhaps his insight...his calm and impartial ways...would have helped me to understand someday. But I will never know.
In the course of rescuing these animals, together, we have suffered many losses, endured many hardships and accomplished the impossible. I have dug in my heels, gritted my teeth and fought with every fiber of my being. And in doing so, I came to believe that there is one person I can count on...one person these animals can count on....and that is me. But I am now beginning to understand that I am wrong. I DO have family and it is all of you. I DO have people I can count on and it is all of you. I don't know if I will ever learn to accept gifts and donations gracefully. I don't know if my "I can do this...I don't need anyone" mindframe will ever change. So, please, if I seem to be making it difficult for you and you just want to help, be persistent. Know that I love you and I appreciate you and the animals and I are better for knowing you. God bless you my friends.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Forget CNN, I'll Show You a Hero
Every year around Christmastime, I see good ol' Anderson Cooper on CNN talking about the prestigious "Hero of the Year" award. And every year I suffer in silence as my mother watches the presentation show. It's interesting, yes, but I would just rather be watching Criminal Minds. It's not at all that I think these fine people aren't deserving of awards and recognition. They certainly are and I recognize and appreciate that the world is a better place because of the things they have dedicated their lives to. I thank them profusely for making the earth better for all of mankind. And I appreciate the fact that they make me think. Heroes come in all shapes and sizes, ages and backgrounds, ethnicities and cultures. I struggle a little with people referring to sports figures and actors as heroes. Are they? They do (I am generalizing) have talent, and the ability to influence people...especially young people. Role models, perhaps...but heroes? Not in my book.
You see, I have been fortunate in my life to come to know people that I regard as true heroes. They are the ones who sacrifice of themselves without blinking. They are the ones who say, "Yes, I can do that..." regardless of what it will take to get it done. They are the ones who walk in when everyone else walks out. They are the ones who stand tall in the face of adversity, dig in their heels and say, "I will not lose this battle. I WILL prevail." They are the Cassie Richardsons of the world who, in the face of great personal loss, get back on their feet and say, "I am here to make a difference." They are the Stacy Van Wormers of the world who see suffering and, even though they didn't cause it, say, "Come here, little one, I will help you." They are the Rebecca Kruegers of the world who work hard every day and still say, "Stand with me! This fight is not over and, together, we can handle this!" They are the Lisa Drurys of the world who, under the weight of tremendous personal struggle, say, "It's ok...I'm here for you no matter what." And they are the Barb Ulrichs of the world who look into the eyes of a homeless cat, see an old friend and say, "There you are. I've missed you. Come home."
These are true heroes and I am blessed in my life to know them. Cassie, Stacy, Becko, Lisa, Barb...thank you for being MY heroes.
You see, I have been fortunate in my life to come to know people that I regard as true heroes. They are the ones who sacrifice of themselves without blinking. They are the ones who say, "Yes, I can do that..." regardless of what it will take to get it done. They are the ones who walk in when everyone else walks out. They are the ones who stand tall in the face of adversity, dig in their heels and say, "I will not lose this battle. I WILL prevail." They are the Cassie Richardsons of the world who, in the face of great personal loss, get back on their feet and say, "I am here to make a difference." They are the Stacy Van Wormers of the world who see suffering and, even though they didn't cause it, say, "Come here, little one, I will help you." They are the Rebecca Kruegers of the world who work hard every day and still say, "Stand with me! This fight is not over and, together, we can handle this!" They are the Lisa Drurys of the world who, under the weight of tremendous personal struggle, say, "It's ok...I'm here for you no matter what." And they are the Barb Ulrichs of the world who look into the eyes of a homeless cat, see an old friend and say, "There you are. I've missed you. Come home."
These are true heroes and I am blessed in my life to know them. Cassie, Stacy, Becko, Lisa, Barb...thank you for being MY heroes.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
My Letter to 2012
Dear 2012,
Well, you arrived last night with all of the usual fanfare and hoopla. Welcome. Last year, I wrote a letter to 2011, letting it know of my expectations and demands for the new year. Yes, I was a bit harsh. But 2010 left much to be desired and I was not going to stand for any repeats of that nonsense. In revisiting that letter, I must say, most of my demands were met and I am a bit sad to see 2011 go. So, 2012, you have a big job ahead of you. Here is what I expect:
In March you will see the conclusion of my court case once and for all. I expect everything to go smoothly. 2011 was kind enough to see to it that the animals and I have a place to live and that none of them had to be euthanized because we were homeless. It was a miracle and one for which I will always be grateful. You, 2012, are responsible for maintaining that miracle. My landlord is facing some issues and I expect them resolved in his favor so that he can maintain ownership of the property. In fact, you could work on convincing him to sell it to me and we would be golden. Let's see some action there.
2011 gave me a job. Although I am grateful, I hate it. So you, 2012, get the responsibility of getting me a better job that pays more. Again, I am grateful for the awesome people that my job has brought into my life, but I could do without the back-stabbers, gossipers and small-minded people who also populate the place. Let's see some action there too. I will do my part (applications, resumes, interviews, etc.) You just connect me to the right people.
Last year about this time, I talked to 2011 about health. My health has been good and, for that, I am grateful. (I could use a little help with the knees.) But let's talk about Lisa. The kidney thing is all good. 2011 was good to her in that regard. But HELLO...the feet? AHEM! That is NOT what I had in mind when I demanded that 2011 be kind to Lisa and her health. So, 2012...seriously...get it corrected. HEALTH means GOOD HEALTH, not just a pulse. So fix it. I want her healthy, feeling good, and able to enjoy each and every day watching Joshua grow up. Enough with the doctors and the medications and all of that crap. I want her healthy this year and every year thereafter. Get it done.
And speaking of health, 2012, I have two names for you...Heather and Helen. Fix it. Get definitive diagnoses and appropriate treatments and make it better. There is no room for excuses. I expect it done. Thank you.
Now let's talk about Barb. You will not find a person with a bigger heart. 2011 was challenging and very difficult. Some things have been resolved and she has some peace of mind. 2012, I would appreciate your continued support in smoothing things out for her. I want you to give her PEACE in her heart, mind and soul. No emergencies, no unexpected expenses, no hardships. SMOOTH SAILING IS THE ONLY ANSWER. Get it done.
Speaking of smooth sailing...I am just going to throw 4 names at you...Mike, Stacy, Amy and Rick. They all faced huge adversities this year and I want that crap to stop. Give them what they need to be ok and to continue to work hard to achieve their goals. They are good people and it is time to reward them, not continue to crap on them. SMOOTH SAILING! (And it would be really nice if you would bestow some hardships on Mike & Stacy's idiot neighbors, rewarding them for their cruelty to animals. I am told that karma is a bitch. Let's see it, ok? Thanks!)
And let's talk about Becko. No one works harder to help other people and animals than Becko does. I expect you to continue to give her heart the capacity it needs to do that. That means withholding any hardships and not allowing anything bad to happen that may leave her feeling defeated or frustrated. Be as kind to her as she is to others. It's a pretty simple equation.
Now...my mom... She will be 77 this year. She has a lot of issues and we are dealing with them. 2011 was a lot kinder to her than 2010 and, again, I am grateful. Please stop with the pain and the struggles. Give her the emotional and physical support that she needs to feel better every day. I am working full time now so I can't be with her as much as she needs. It would be nice if you would kindly get a message (a revelation really) to my siblings and get them to contribute to making her life better. Thank you.
In reagard to Jaime, Roy Michael, Kathy and Mom...2010 was a bitch and I am not happy at all about it. We were all affected by Roy's death on October 31, 2010, but no one moreso than these 4 people. 2011 had the responsibility of being the first year without him. It was the most difficult, I am told. Get easier. I'm not kidding.
And for the rest of my friends and loved ones, I also expect smooth sailing. Nikayla is graduating this year and I would appreciate you withholding any hardships that she may face while job hunting. Don't mess with my Tayda or you and I will rumble. Don't test me. You will regret it.
Now let's talk about the animals. My Alecs is turning 15 in February. He's an old guy and I am grateful that 2011 was so kind to him. You need to continue that trend. Again, I will do my part and provide him with everything he needs to stay healthy and happy. You just have to make sure it works. I cannot and will not imagine my life without him so don't even go there. My world revolves around Alecs and it needs to stay that way in order for me to maintain sanity. This is non-negotiable.
Sarge is turning 11 in October. Keep her healthy. Enough said.
2011 almost took Chance. That kind of bulls**t will NOT be tolerated. Thank God for Dr. Twardowski stepping in and putting 2011 in its place on that one. 2012, you will NOT mess with Chance. It is just not acceptable. He is off limits to you.
The dogs...
Tucker is turning 10 this year. 2011 was not his best year and I am a bit upset about that. He has arthritis in his elbow. He needs his ears resected and now he quite possibly has Von Willebrand Disease. I cannot and WILL NOT lose my big yellow boy so knock it off with the health problems. I want you to come up with an awesome fundraising idea and kindly place it in my head so that Tucker can have the care he needs to stick around for a long time to come. The elbow is most concerning because he can't play like he wants to and there will come a time when he cannot walk without tremendous pain. I will have to make an impossible decision for him and I am not ready for that. Am I being selfish? Oh hell yes I am but I am being selfish on Tucker's behalf. I want a fundraiser so he can have elbow replacement surgery and I don't want the Von Willebrand Disease complicating the surgery. Got it? Good.
Gretchen, Charlie and Barney are all getting up in their years and are turning white around their faces. Their health is good and I would appreciate it staying that way. Don't mess with them or you will mess with me.
Wrigley, Harry & Dawson are turning 5 in May. Harry & Dawson are having orthopedic issues related to their sizes and breeds. I don't want them in pain so knock that off. They are still young pups and I expect you to allow them to act that way. Again, I will do my part with vet appointments, medications and the like. You need to do yours. Wrigley is strong, healthy, smart and beautiful. Keep it that way.
As for the rest of the animals, canine and feline alike, I expect health and happiness. For the cats who are rescued, I expect loving and forever homes. Find them and help them find me.
Now, personally, I expect the strength and stamina that I need to continue to help animals. There are days that it is difficult and there are days that it is impossible. I can handle the difficult ones and I would appreciate an end to the impossible ones. I am not effective when I am in a fetal position in the corner. Clearly, I need to be effective. So...you get the idea. Smooth sailing is the idea but I will settle for just difficult.
I guess that is it for now. The rest goes without saying. Just keep your nose clean and remember that good things are supposed to happen to good people who work hard. I am willing to handle the tough days but you WILL NOT be allowed to make those tough days impossible. If that is your plan, you might as well go back where you came from right now. If you plan to abide by the rules and meet my demands, I welcome you with open arms. Let's work together and continue to improve things. Thank you.
Well, you arrived last night with all of the usual fanfare and hoopla. Welcome. Last year, I wrote a letter to 2011, letting it know of my expectations and demands for the new year. Yes, I was a bit harsh. But 2010 left much to be desired and I was not going to stand for any repeats of that nonsense. In revisiting that letter, I must say, most of my demands were met and I am a bit sad to see 2011 go. So, 2012, you have a big job ahead of you. Here is what I expect:
In March you will see the conclusion of my court case once and for all. I expect everything to go smoothly. 2011 was kind enough to see to it that the animals and I have a place to live and that none of them had to be euthanized because we were homeless. It was a miracle and one for which I will always be grateful. You, 2012, are responsible for maintaining that miracle. My landlord is facing some issues and I expect them resolved in his favor so that he can maintain ownership of the property. In fact, you could work on convincing him to sell it to me and we would be golden. Let's see some action there.
2011 gave me a job. Although I am grateful, I hate it. So you, 2012, get the responsibility of getting me a better job that pays more. Again, I am grateful for the awesome people that my job has brought into my life, but I could do without the back-stabbers, gossipers and small-minded people who also populate the place. Let's see some action there too. I will do my part (applications, resumes, interviews, etc.) You just connect me to the right people.
Last year about this time, I talked to 2011 about health. My health has been good and, for that, I am grateful. (I could use a little help with the knees.) But let's talk about Lisa. The kidney thing is all good. 2011 was good to her in that regard. But HELLO...the feet? AHEM! That is NOT what I had in mind when I demanded that 2011 be kind to Lisa and her health. So, 2012...seriously...get it corrected. HEALTH means GOOD HEALTH, not just a pulse. So fix it. I want her healthy, feeling good, and able to enjoy each and every day watching Joshua grow up. Enough with the doctors and the medications and all of that crap. I want her healthy this year and every year thereafter. Get it done.
And speaking of health, 2012, I have two names for you...Heather and Helen. Fix it. Get definitive diagnoses and appropriate treatments and make it better. There is no room for excuses. I expect it done. Thank you.
Now let's talk about Barb. You will not find a person with a bigger heart. 2011 was challenging and very difficult. Some things have been resolved and she has some peace of mind. 2012, I would appreciate your continued support in smoothing things out for her. I want you to give her PEACE in her heart, mind and soul. No emergencies, no unexpected expenses, no hardships. SMOOTH SAILING IS THE ONLY ANSWER. Get it done.
Speaking of smooth sailing...I am just going to throw 4 names at you...Mike, Stacy, Amy and Rick. They all faced huge adversities this year and I want that crap to stop. Give them what they need to be ok and to continue to work hard to achieve their goals. They are good people and it is time to reward them, not continue to crap on them. SMOOTH SAILING! (And it would be really nice if you would bestow some hardships on Mike & Stacy's idiot neighbors, rewarding them for their cruelty to animals. I am told that karma is a bitch. Let's see it, ok? Thanks!)
And let's talk about Becko. No one works harder to help other people and animals than Becko does. I expect you to continue to give her heart the capacity it needs to do that. That means withholding any hardships and not allowing anything bad to happen that may leave her feeling defeated or frustrated. Be as kind to her as she is to others. It's a pretty simple equation.
Now...my mom... She will be 77 this year. She has a lot of issues and we are dealing with them. 2011 was a lot kinder to her than 2010 and, again, I am grateful. Please stop with the pain and the struggles. Give her the emotional and physical support that she needs to feel better every day. I am working full time now so I can't be with her as much as she needs. It would be nice if you would kindly get a message (a revelation really) to my siblings and get them to contribute to making her life better. Thank you.
In reagard to Jaime, Roy Michael, Kathy and Mom...2010 was a bitch and I am not happy at all about it. We were all affected by Roy's death on October 31, 2010, but no one moreso than these 4 people. 2011 had the responsibility of being the first year without him. It was the most difficult, I am told. Get easier. I'm not kidding.
And for the rest of my friends and loved ones, I also expect smooth sailing. Nikayla is graduating this year and I would appreciate you withholding any hardships that she may face while job hunting. Don't mess with my Tayda or you and I will rumble. Don't test me. You will regret it.
Now let's talk about the animals. My Alecs is turning 15 in February. He's an old guy and I am grateful that 2011 was so kind to him. You need to continue that trend. Again, I will do my part and provide him with everything he needs to stay healthy and happy. You just have to make sure it works. I cannot and will not imagine my life without him so don't even go there. My world revolves around Alecs and it needs to stay that way in order for me to maintain sanity. This is non-negotiable.
Sarge is turning 11 in October. Keep her healthy. Enough said.
2011 almost took Chance. That kind of bulls**t will NOT be tolerated. Thank God for Dr. Twardowski stepping in and putting 2011 in its place on that one. 2012, you will NOT mess with Chance. It is just not acceptable. He is off limits to you.
The dogs...
Tucker is turning 10 this year. 2011 was not his best year and I am a bit upset about that. He has arthritis in his elbow. He needs his ears resected and now he quite possibly has Von Willebrand Disease. I cannot and WILL NOT lose my big yellow boy so knock it off with the health problems. I want you to come up with an awesome fundraising idea and kindly place it in my head so that Tucker can have the care he needs to stick around for a long time to come. The elbow is most concerning because he can't play like he wants to and there will come a time when he cannot walk without tremendous pain. I will have to make an impossible decision for him and I am not ready for that. Am I being selfish? Oh hell yes I am but I am being selfish on Tucker's behalf. I want a fundraiser so he can have elbow replacement surgery and I don't want the Von Willebrand Disease complicating the surgery. Got it? Good.
Gretchen, Charlie and Barney are all getting up in their years and are turning white around their faces. Their health is good and I would appreciate it staying that way. Don't mess with them or you will mess with me.
Wrigley, Harry & Dawson are turning 5 in May. Harry & Dawson are having orthopedic issues related to their sizes and breeds. I don't want them in pain so knock that off. They are still young pups and I expect you to allow them to act that way. Again, I will do my part with vet appointments, medications and the like. You need to do yours. Wrigley is strong, healthy, smart and beautiful. Keep it that way.
As for the rest of the animals, canine and feline alike, I expect health and happiness. For the cats who are rescued, I expect loving and forever homes. Find them and help them find me.
Now, personally, I expect the strength and stamina that I need to continue to help animals. There are days that it is difficult and there are days that it is impossible. I can handle the difficult ones and I would appreciate an end to the impossible ones. I am not effective when I am in a fetal position in the corner. Clearly, I need to be effective. So...you get the idea. Smooth sailing is the idea but I will settle for just difficult.
I guess that is it for now. The rest goes without saying. Just keep your nose clean and remember that good things are supposed to happen to good people who work hard. I am willing to handle the tough days but you WILL NOT be allowed to make those tough days impossible. If that is your plan, you might as well go back where you came from right now. If you plan to abide by the rules and meet my demands, I welcome you with open arms. Let's work together and continue to improve things. Thank you.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Christmas Wishes
'Tis the season...to be jolly...to be giving...to be thankful. I am, in general, all three of those things. (At least I try to be.) And, as a general rule, I like this time of year. But I keep thinking about how this is the time, not only for joy, but for wishes. I am surrounded by people with their Christmas lists and holiday wishes. Now, I live a pretty simple life. If the cats and dogs have food in their bowls, their heaters are working and there is gas in my car to get me to work, I am feeling pretty good about things. Nevermind the special occasions when I get to buy the dogs some treats or get Alecs a new bed. Those are the really good days. But I got to thinking about what I would wish for, given the chance. Here is my list...
For Tucker, I wish that he could have the surgeries that he needs to improve his quality of life as he enters his golden years. He needs his right front elbow replaced and both of his ears flushed and resected so he can stop getting ear infections. He also needs the polyps removed by his eyes. I wish him an endless supply of tennis balls and the ability to chase them like he used to. I wish him a return of all of the love he shows in those big brown eyes of his. Mama loves you Tucka-Bubba.
For Charlie, I wish she could have the allergy testing she needs to get to the bottom of her itching problems. And I wish her an unending supply of squeaky toys and treats she can bury and save for later. I wish her all of the kindness and sweetness that she shows me and everyone around her every day of her life. I wish her the knowledge that she is my heart and soul on 4 legs and that I love her with all of my heart. Mama loves you Charlie Doggie.
For Barney, I also wish he could have allergy testing and resolution to his itching problem. I also wish for him an understanding of love and the knowledge that he IS worthy and I am not going anywhere. I am real, I will never hit him and I will love him for the rest of his life. I wish him freedom from the fears that were instilled in him for the first 9 years of his life. Mama loves you Barn Man.
For Gretchen, I wish freedom from her fears of just about everything and more of my time. Gretchen wants nothing more than to be with me whereever I go and I wish more than anything that I could give that to her. I wish for her to have an unending supply of squeaky toys to keep her busy when I can't be home. Mama loves you Gretchy Dog.
For Wrigley, I wish one of the cats would befriend her and learn that she will not hurt them. Wrigley loved to play with my cat, Brenda...carrying her around by the scruff of her neck, "chewing" on her, playing with her...and Brenda loved it too. We lost Brenda last summer when she was hit by a car and Wrigley hasn't been the same since. And I wish for my baby girl, that she always has the youthful energy and exuberance that she has now. I also wish her an unending supply of tennis balls and more of my time to throw them. Mama loves you Wriggles.
For Harry, I wish freedom from pain in his legs and for me to actually remember that he doesn't like peanut butter in his Kong. I wish him the kind of love in return that he shows me each and every day. I wish him the amazing feeling of devotion, protection and unconditional love that he shows me. And I wish him an unending supply of Rimadyl when he needs it, Glucosamine/Chondroitin for his legs and toys to tear apart.
Mama loves you Harry Man.
For Dawson, I wish peace and the same deep, almost-unfathomable love and devotion that he shows me. I wish him freedom from his joint pain and the ability to run and play forever. I wish him an unending supply of Rimadyl when he needs it and Glucosamine/Chondroitin for his legs. And I wish him all of the Scooby Snacks he could handle. Mama loves you Big D.
For Alecs, my sweet boy...I wish another year of good health and lots of cuddle time with me. I never want to imagine life without Alecs. And I wish him lots and lots of boxes to squeeze himself into. Mama loves you Buppa.
For Sarge, I wish an unending supply of my attention and Pop Tarts every morning. Mama loves you Sargie.
For Joey, I wish a final resolution to that annoying ear infection and lots and lots of scritches. Mama loves you Joseph.
For Maggie, I wish more time to run around outside and be silly. I also wish her less time with the kittens who annoy the heck out of her. Mama loves you Maggs.
For all of the rest of my kids~ I wish you health and happiness, more of my time and more of my patience. I wish you wonderful, comfortable, loving forever homes where you can live your lives in peace, with all of your needs met. Mama loves you all.
For Tucker, I wish that he could have the surgeries that he needs to improve his quality of life as he enters his golden years. He needs his right front elbow replaced and both of his ears flushed and resected so he can stop getting ear infections. He also needs the polyps removed by his eyes. I wish him an endless supply of tennis balls and the ability to chase them like he used to. I wish him a return of all of the love he shows in those big brown eyes of his. Mama loves you Tucka-Bubba.
For Charlie, I wish she could have the allergy testing she needs to get to the bottom of her itching problems. And I wish her an unending supply of squeaky toys and treats she can bury and save for later. I wish her all of the kindness and sweetness that she shows me and everyone around her every day of her life. I wish her the knowledge that she is my heart and soul on 4 legs and that I love her with all of my heart. Mama loves you Charlie Doggie.
For Barney, I also wish he could have allergy testing and resolution to his itching problem. I also wish for him an understanding of love and the knowledge that he IS worthy and I am not going anywhere. I am real, I will never hit him and I will love him for the rest of his life. I wish him freedom from the fears that were instilled in him for the first 9 years of his life. Mama loves you Barn Man.
For Gretchen, I wish freedom from her fears of just about everything and more of my time. Gretchen wants nothing more than to be with me whereever I go and I wish more than anything that I could give that to her. I wish for her to have an unending supply of squeaky toys to keep her busy when I can't be home. Mama loves you Gretchy Dog.
For Wrigley, I wish one of the cats would befriend her and learn that she will not hurt them. Wrigley loved to play with my cat, Brenda...carrying her around by the scruff of her neck, "chewing" on her, playing with her...and Brenda loved it too. We lost Brenda last summer when she was hit by a car and Wrigley hasn't been the same since. And I wish for my baby girl, that she always has the youthful energy and exuberance that she has now. I also wish her an unending supply of tennis balls and more of my time to throw them. Mama loves you Wriggles.
For Harry, I wish freedom from pain in his legs and for me to actually remember that he doesn't like peanut butter in his Kong. I wish him the kind of love in return that he shows me each and every day. I wish him the amazing feeling of devotion, protection and unconditional love that he shows me. And I wish him an unending supply of Rimadyl when he needs it, Glucosamine/Chondroitin for his legs and toys to tear apart.
Mama loves you Harry Man.
For Dawson, I wish peace and the same deep, almost-unfathomable love and devotion that he shows me. I wish him freedom from his joint pain and the ability to run and play forever. I wish him an unending supply of Rimadyl when he needs it and Glucosamine/Chondroitin for his legs. And I wish him all of the Scooby Snacks he could handle. Mama loves you Big D.
For Alecs, my sweet boy...I wish another year of good health and lots of cuddle time with me. I never want to imagine life without Alecs. And I wish him lots and lots of boxes to squeeze himself into. Mama loves you Buppa.
For Sarge, I wish an unending supply of my attention and Pop Tarts every morning. Mama loves you Sargie.
For Joey, I wish a final resolution to that annoying ear infection and lots and lots of scritches. Mama loves you Joseph.
For Maggie, I wish more time to run around outside and be silly. I also wish her less time with the kittens who annoy the heck out of her. Mama loves you Maggs.
For all of the rest of my kids~ I wish you health and happiness, more of my time and more of my patience. I wish you wonderful, comfortable, loving forever homes where you can live your lives in peace, with all of your needs met. Mama loves you all.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
The Truth About Keeping Christ in Christmas
Ok, I am on my soapbox today. The holiday season is here. Last week was Thanksgiving, only one month before Christmas. I am starting to see a lot of postings on Facebook regarding Christmas and "keeping Christ in Christmas." Apparently, President Obama announced that the decorative trees displayed at the White House this year will be referred to as "holiday trees" rather than "Christmas trees." A friend, whom I have a tremendous amount of respect for, posted this on Facebook:
Friday, November 11, 2011
Being a Fighter
Wow, it has been awhile since I have blogged. I guess life just gets too busy sometimes. Anyway...
Let me start with a disclaimer. I am not writing this today in an effort to stroke my own ego. I am not looking for sympathy or hand outs. It is just more of a reflection on the last few days and something I will be able to look back on when things are tough to try to get through those days.
Last week my car died. I don't drive anything fancy...it's a 1999 Ford Taurus station wagon. It's an old-lady car that serves the purpose of hauling animals, including my three big dogs, Wrigley, Harry & Dawson, with plenty of room to lie down. It hauls wood for heat, cat food, dog food, cat litter, furniture and whatever else I ask of it. No matter what shape it is in or how messy the interior is, it is my lifeline and the lifeline of my animals. It is essential to our survival. So, when it isn't running, the feeling of utter despair is overwhelming. But, as luck would have it, it was just the battery. When I was finally able to scrape together the $75 I needed, I bought a new battery and thought everything would be fine. It wasn't.
Fastforward to the first snowfall of the year...November 9, 2011. We didn't get a lot of snow, but it was wet and heavy. I got home from work to find that the cat fence had caved under the weight of the snow. If you know my history, you know that ventilation is an essential (critical) part of housing the cats. Without the fence in good operating condition, I cannot let the cats outside, thus potentially creating a ventilation problem. Again, a feeling of utter despair was overwhelming.
Yesterday, the car would not start again. I was leaving to go get some wood to heat the house. Without wood, there is no heat because I cannot afford the LP gas required to run the furnace (which also means I have no hot water or gas to cook with). It's a game of building a bold enough fire to burn while I am at work so the animals aren't cold. The dachshund wears a sweater and the dogs can burrow under the blankets on my bed. The cats pile on top of each other for warmth until I am home to rebuild the fire. I keep telling myself that they will be ok as long as they are out of the wind. Certainly, they have more than a lot of animals ever know. I have to focus on that.
So, faced with the prospect of having no car, no working cat fence and no wood to heat the house, I was completely defeated. I was giving up. My niece had given me a ride to my mom's so that I could get something to eat. My friend Jeanne gave me a ride home and bought me a box of fire logs to keep everyone warm for the night. Sleep was fitful with the constant worry of the car, the fence, the heat...How will I get to work? How will I get some wood? What if mom needs me? What if one of the animals has an emergency?
Two mechanic friends of mine both said the description of the car's problem sounded like a connection issue with the new battery. So, first thing this morning, I took the battery completely out and set it on the ground. I cleaned the area where the battery sits. Then, I took my toothbrush, dabbed it in baking soda and scrubbed the battery cable connections. I rinsed them and dried them. Then, I did the same to the posts on the battery itself. I put the battery back in, connected the cables and tightened them down. The bolt holding the battery in place is stripped so I found a thick plastic handle to a cat carrier and, with a few taps from the hammer, wedged it between the battery and car frame. The battery was secure. I got in the car, looked up at the sky and said, "Ok, Roy, you are the mechanic in the family. I could really use some magic right now." I turned the key and the car started. The relief was amazing.
Then I put on my rubber boots and ventured into the snow-covered cat enclosure. I assessed the problem of the fence and saw that the poles were caving in the soft ground. There was no actual damage to the fence. What a relief! So I took some steel posts from the not-yet-put-up chainlink dog fence and shored up the cat fence poles. The fence popped right back up into position and I was able to let the cats out into their enclosure again. Again, the relief was amazing.
So why am I blogging about this today? Because I learned something about myself last night. In all the despair, as I was walking through the woods at 1am looking for wood dry enough to burn, a poem from my childhood popped into my head. It's an old one that I think just about everyone has heard, but I hadn't thought about it in nearly 20 years. And suddenly, there it was when I needed it the most.
When things go wrong as they sometimes will
And the road you're trudging seems all uphill
When funds are low and debts are high
And you want to smile but you have to sigh
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Success if failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are
It may be near when it seems afar
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit
It's when things go wrong that you must'nt quit.
I kept reciting this poem aloud as I trudged through the snow. The more I said the last two lines, the more determined I became.
I am a lot of things. I am a woman, a friend, a daughter, an aunt, a sister, a cousin, an employee, a caretaker, an animal-lover...the list goes on and on, as it does for everyone else in the world. But I am also a fighter. I am a never-give-up, dig-in-my-heels, grab-on-with-my-teeth-and-never-let-go, push-through-anything, fighter. In the immortal words of Pat Benetar, "Knock me down, it's all in vain. I'll get right back on my feet again. Hit me with your best shot." I WILL bounce back. I WILL survive. I WILL find a way. There are days that I feel like my fight is gone...like the world is just too cruel...like I can't possibly find my way again. But I ALWAYS find my fight. And I ALWAYS will. I am so blessed to have friends and family who see me through those tough days and help me find that fight again. At my worst moments, when I thought I was going to lose all of the animals because I had no place to live and no job, I told my friend Becky that I had no fight left. She said, "You will find it. This is NOT over." And she was right. Three months later, I have a home and a job. It's not over until I say it's over and I am not saying that....ever. Now if you will excuse me, I need to go buy a new toothbrush. ;-)
Let me start with a disclaimer. I am not writing this today in an effort to stroke my own ego. I am not looking for sympathy or hand outs. It is just more of a reflection on the last few days and something I will be able to look back on when things are tough to try to get through those days.
Last week my car died. I don't drive anything fancy...it's a 1999 Ford Taurus station wagon. It's an old-lady car that serves the purpose of hauling animals, including my three big dogs, Wrigley, Harry & Dawson, with plenty of room to lie down. It hauls wood for heat, cat food, dog food, cat litter, furniture and whatever else I ask of it. No matter what shape it is in or how messy the interior is, it is my lifeline and the lifeline of my animals. It is essential to our survival. So, when it isn't running, the feeling of utter despair is overwhelming. But, as luck would have it, it was just the battery. When I was finally able to scrape together the $75 I needed, I bought a new battery and thought everything would be fine. It wasn't.
Fastforward to the first snowfall of the year...November 9, 2011. We didn't get a lot of snow, but it was wet and heavy. I got home from work to find that the cat fence had caved under the weight of the snow. If you know my history, you know that ventilation is an essential (critical) part of housing the cats. Without the fence in good operating condition, I cannot let the cats outside, thus potentially creating a ventilation problem. Again, a feeling of utter despair was overwhelming.
Yesterday, the car would not start again. I was leaving to go get some wood to heat the house. Without wood, there is no heat because I cannot afford the LP gas required to run the furnace (which also means I have no hot water or gas to cook with). It's a game of building a bold enough fire to burn while I am at work so the animals aren't cold. The dachshund wears a sweater and the dogs can burrow under the blankets on my bed. The cats pile on top of each other for warmth until I am home to rebuild the fire. I keep telling myself that they will be ok as long as they are out of the wind. Certainly, they have more than a lot of animals ever know. I have to focus on that.
So, faced with the prospect of having no car, no working cat fence and no wood to heat the house, I was completely defeated. I was giving up. My niece had given me a ride to my mom's so that I could get something to eat. My friend Jeanne gave me a ride home and bought me a box of fire logs to keep everyone warm for the night. Sleep was fitful with the constant worry of the car, the fence, the heat...How will I get to work? How will I get some wood? What if mom needs me? What if one of the animals has an emergency?
Two mechanic friends of mine both said the description of the car's problem sounded like a connection issue with the new battery. So, first thing this morning, I took the battery completely out and set it on the ground. I cleaned the area where the battery sits. Then, I took my toothbrush, dabbed it in baking soda and scrubbed the battery cable connections. I rinsed them and dried them. Then, I did the same to the posts on the battery itself. I put the battery back in, connected the cables and tightened them down. The bolt holding the battery in place is stripped so I found a thick plastic handle to a cat carrier and, with a few taps from the hammer, wedged it between the battery and car frame. The battery was secure. I got in the car, looked up at the sky and said, "Ok, Roy, you are the mechanic in the family. I could really use some magic right now." I turned the key and the car started. The relief was amazing.
Then I put on my rubber boots and ventured into the snow-covered cat enclosure. I assessed the problem of the fence and saw that the poles were caving in the soft ground. There was no actual damage to the fence. What a relief! So I took some steel posts from the not-yet-put-up chainlink dog fence and shored up the cat fence poles. The fence popped right back up into position and I was able to let the cats out into their enclosure again. Again, the relief was amazing.
So why am I blogging about this today? Because I learned something about myself last night. In all the despair, as I was walking through the woods at 1am looking for wood dry enough to burn, a poem from my childhood popped into my head. It's an old one that I think just about everyone has heard, but I hadn't thought about it in nearly 20 years. And suddenly, there it was when I needed it the most.
When things go wrong as they sometimes will
And the road you're trudging seems all uphill
When funds are low and debts are high
And you want to smile but you have to sigh
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Success if failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are
It may be near when it seems afar
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit
It's when things go wrong that you must'nt quit.
I kept reciting this poem aloud as I trudged through the snow. The more I said the last two lines, the more determined I became.
I am a lot of things. I am a woman, a friend, a daughter, an aunt, a sister, a cousin, an employee, a caretaker, an animal-lover...the list goes on and on, as it does for everyone else in the world. But I am also a fighter. I am a never-give-up, dig-in-my-heels, grab-on-with-my-teeth-and-never-let-go, push-through-anything, fighter. In the immortal words of Pat Benetar, "Knock me down, it's all in vain. I'll get right back on my feet again. Hit me with your best shot." I WILL bounce back. I WILL survive. I WILL find a way. There are days that I feel like my fight is gone...like the world is just too cruel...like I can't possibly find my way again. But I ALWAYS find my fight. And I ALWAYS will. I am so blessed to have friends and family who see me through those tough days and help me find that fight again. At my worst moments, when I thought I was going to lose all of the animals because I had no place to live and no job, I told my friend Becky that I had no fight left. She said, "You will find it. This is NOT over." And she was right. Three months later, I have a home and a job. It's not over until I say it's over and I am not saying that....ever. Now if you will excuse me, I need to go buy a new toothbrush. ;-)
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Punish Those Responsible for Animal Cruelty, Not Those Trying to Help
Imagine this scenario. You buy a house in a nice neighborhood where you can raise your family in safety and comfort. It’s peaceful and serene. You bring with you your neutered cat and spayed dog, both of whom you keep indoors so as not to bother anyone. Your neighbor, however, doesn’t see things quite the way you do. They have a female cat that roams the neighborhood unspayed, delivering litter after litter of kittens year after year. And when the population gets to be too much, your neighbor blocks the entrance to the house, leaving the cats outside in the cold to fend for themselves. If they live, they live. If they die, they die. It’s all part of natural selection, right? Except that, in the course of their lives, no matter how short they may be, they too are producing litter after litter of kittens. Of course, these desperate animals find their way to you and you cannot bear to see them suffer. So you give them some table scraps to start, eventually doing what is humane and setting out a bowl of food every night, perhaps even building them a small shelter so that they can be somewhat protected from the cold and rain. And one by one, as your economic situation allows, you get them spayed and neutered in an effort to try to stop the booming population. You get them vaccinated so that they may stay somewhat healthy and not spread sickness and disease among the colony. You single-handedly take on the enormous responsibility of caring for these poor animals, not because they are your pets, but because they need help and your conscience will not let you sleep at night while they sit out in the cold, hungry and suffering. You know you didn’t cause the problem. Your animals were spayed and neutered, not reproducing unchecked. Your animals were fed and cared for, not left to starve and freeze. But you know that these animals depend on someone, anyone, to have the compassion to set out a bowl of food or leave the garage door open a little so that they can seek shelter. You know you are doing the right thing and you believe, foolishly, that the people of your neighborhood who proclaim to be your friends, see things the same way. You are wrong. Caring for these cats makes them yours in the eyes of your neighbors and having these cats now makes you a hoarder and an outcast in your neighborhood. It makes you subject to harassment and sleepless night after sleepless night because these same neighbors have now set traps to capture the cats and murder them. They even go so far as to tell you that the cats are “fair game” because you have failed to control their travels. You have failed to teach the cats to read maps and respect property lines. You have failed to teach these cats to clean up after themselves when they urinate and defacate and to never do that in anyone’s garden but yours. You have failed to teach these cats to ignore their very basic hunting instincts because there are people in this world who attach more importance to the life of a songbird than the life of a cat. Shame on you. When the harassment gets to be too much and you no longer feel safe in your serene and peaceful neighborhood, you call the police. After all, they are there to serve and protect. And when the Columbia County Sheriff’s Department shows up at your door you are shocked to find that he isn’t there to protect you at all. He doesn’t hand you any kind of gratitude that you are doing a service to the community by caring for these stray animals. He doesn’t hand you any kind of reassurance that he will handle the problem and that the people who created the problem will be held accountable. What he hands you is a $228 ordinance violation ticket for animal-at-large and a 15 minute lecture on why your neighbors are upset and why you should keep your animals under control. What he hands you is more frustration, more injustice and more tears. What he hands you is unfathomable, unfair and unbelievable. All the while, the neighbors who created the problem by not taking responsibility for their one female cat so long ago, watch out the window, gossiping on the phone to the fellow neighbors about how the police were at your house and what a terrible person you are.
Do you think this doesn’t happen? It’s happening on Spring Street in Pardeeville as we speak. It happened to me and it happened to many of my friends. It’s happening every day in countless neighborhoods. And how do you avoid it? I suppose you avoid it by ignoring the plight of the suffering animals like everyone else in the neighborhood and leave them to die slow and painful deaths. But wait, isn’t that cruelty to animals? Doesn’t that violate the law? No, it doesn’t because by ignoring the cats, you are not claiming ownership of them. By not claiming ownership, you are not responsible for their well-being. If you are not responsible, you cannot be held criminally liable when they starve to death. Isn’t that nice? The anti-cruelty laws in Wisconsin (and throughout the country) are encouraging people to ignore the suffering of the animals and allow it to happen. If you get involved and try to help the helpless, you will be held responsible. You will be harassed. You will be fined. You will be the target of gossip. And the people who actually caused the problem will sit quietly, never speaking up, never taking responsibility for their stupidity and living happily ever after. Law enforcement, especially, it seems, in Columbia County, targets those who are trying to solve the problem of stray and feral cats while ignoring those who caused it. It isn't right. It isn't fair and it cannot be left this way. We must, as a society, take action to protect, not only the animals, but those who care for them. We need to thank, not crucify, those who are stepping up to take on the responsibilities that others ignore, to clean up the messes made by others simply because it is the right thing to do.
To everyone out there who is in this situation, please accept my unending gratitude on behalf of the animals that you are helping. I'm sorry our laws are against you when you are doing what is right. I'm sorry that our law enforcement agencies are so short-sighted that you are treated as the enemy when you should be hailed as the hero. Please know that some of us do see the forest for the trees. Some of us do have a grasp of reality and understand the true situation. Some of us are sleeping just a little easier tonight knowing that you are making sure these animals have food and shelter and someone who cares about them. And some of us will not rest until these injustices are corrected and those who are responsible are held accountable, not only in the eyes of the law but also in the eyes of the public. May God bless you. There is a special place in Heaven reserved for people like you. Please keep up the good work.
Do you think this doesn’t happen? It’s happening on Spring Street in Pardeeville as we speak. It happened to me and it happened to many of my friends. It’s happening every day in countless neighborhoods. And how do you avoid it? I suppose you avoid it by ignoring the plight of the suffering animals like everyone else in the neighborhood and leave them to die slow and painful deaths. But wait, isn’t that cruelty to animals? Doesn’t that violate the law? No, it doesn’t because by ignoring the cats, you are not claiming ownership of them. By not claiming ownership, you are not responsible for their well-being. If you are not responsible, you cannot be held criminally liable when they starve to death. Isn’t that nice? The anti-cruelty laws in Wisconsin (and throughout the country) are encouraging people to ignore the suffering of the animals and allow it to happen. If you get involved and try to help the helpless, you will be held responsible. You will be harassed. You will be fined. You will be the target of gossip. And the people who actually caused the problem will sit quietly, never speaking up, never taking responsibility for their stupidity and living happily ever after. Law enforcement, especially, it seems, in Columbia County, targets those who are trying to solve the problem of stray and feral cats while ignoring those who caused it. It isn't right. It isn't fair and it cannot be left this way. We must, as a society, take action to protect, not only the animals, but those who care for them. We need to thank, not crucify, those who are stepping up to take on the responsibilities that others ignore, to clean up the messes made by others simply because it is the right thing to do.
To everyone out there who is in this situation, please accept my unending gratitude on behalf of the animals that you are helping. I'm sorry our laws are against you when you are doing what is right. I'm sorry that our law enforcement agencies are so short-sighted that you are treated as the enemy when you should be hailed as the hero. Please know that some of us do see the forest for the trees. Some of us do have a grasp of reality and understand the true situation. Some of us are sleeping just a little easier tonight knowing that you are making sure these animals have food and shelter and someone who cares about them. And some of us will not rest until these injustices are corrected and those who are responsible are held accountable, not only in the eyes of the law but also in the eyes of the public. May God bless you. There is a special place in Heaven reserved for people like you. Please keep up the good work.
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